Welcome to my wonderful, terrible, soap opera sit-com world.

Thursday, December 30, 2004



First of all, I would like to say that after renting the movie "Saved" starring McCaulay Culkin and Mandy Moore, I think EVERYONE should have to see it, it's awesome.

I also think that the reason why NO ONE fucking heard about this movie would have to be pressure from the right-wing Christian conservatives in this country who can't be a little fucking humble and take a goddamn joke.

Blasphemy and cursing intended, thank you.

(I've had a couple glasses of wine, don't mind me)

So. Go rent Saved! today. Honestly. It's hilarious.

Second of all, I'd just like to say that I've been bloghopping around and I see a LOT of people saying how much 2004 sucked and how they can't wait for 2005 to come in and bring them all kinds of new blessings.

I'd just like to say that despite: cuntrags, fucktards, asshats, psychotic malicious idiots, the IRS, 51% of the country that re-elected the president, my family on occasion, and having to quit my awesome job, 2004 has been amazingly uplifting, entertaining, and enlightening. I don't know if I'd want to relive a lot of it (family deaths, pet deaths, cuntrags, fucktards, asshats, psychotic malicious idiots, the IRS, the election, my family on occasion, and having to quit my awesome job) but I wouldn't for the life of me give up getting married, the way it felt when my husband came home from his first 96-day TDY, starting our brand new adventure out here together, spending time with the people I love, throwing darts with amazing friends, drinking beer, discovering Strawberry Andre, my first Yule and Christmas with my loving husband, meeting my in-laws, my father's health improving and his current sobriety, growing closer to some of my blog friends than I ever dreamed possible, earning and growing the courage to start my own business(es) and believing in myself enough to make them come to fruition, getting an amazing Yule gift, learning that karma IS something that happens and that I DON'T have to be dead and gone to see people who deserve the shit life to get what's coming to them, and learning that karma IS something that happens and that I DON'T have to wait any longer to have wonderful, amazing things happen in my life because god dammit, good things happen to good people, and we're good fucking people.


Anyway, what I mean is, thanks 2004 for being a time to grow, even if your blessings often came wrapped up as shithole pains in the ass. With time I've learned from what you've taught me, and I know I've grown as a person, and I'm ready to tackle new challenges, adventures, and amazing blessings for 2005. Bring 'em on!

So. As I sit here looking at all the work I have to get done tomorrow, and knowing that there's 3 bottles of bubbly in the fridge and knowing that there's traditional German goodies to be made on New Years Day, and knowing that I won't be working this weekend because I deserve a goddamn break, but still wanting to get as much done as I can before the holiday weekend... I better get to bed.

For some reason I have the desire to catch you up and to say that Sr. Airman Dipshit and Airman First Class Asshat are both in so much trouble they aren't going to know what hit them... Faith in the system. Faith in the system. Dipshits and asshats be damned, it'll all come back to them. S. had to spend two of his days off at the base trying to get it all worked out, but it's going to be worth it. On Monday, he starts as Shift Lead and he'll have a staff that's whipped into shape. I'm so proud of him, have I told you lately that I'm proud of him?

Good things happen to good people. Bad things happen to dipshits.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's an adoring, sexy Staff Sergeant who's heading to bed, and I think I wanna catch that train before it leaves the station.

Pucker up, buttercups.

Rose typed all this stuff at 10:26 PM | #


Tuesday, December 28, 2004



Blatantly stolen from Kelly who lovingly took it from Asherah, where I also saw it...

You Are a Warrior Soul

You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating.
You don't give up. You're committed and brave.
Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle.
Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog.

You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods.
You also value honesty and fairness a great deal.
You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding.
You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Rose typed all this stuff at 9:52 PM | #




Blatantly, shamelessly and lovingly whored from Joelle.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Got married for $50 at the municipal court. Sold my first house. Moved across the country. Started my own business.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't even remember if I HAD any New Years resolutions. I'd imagine one of them was to lose some weight, which I did.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Someone I used to work with had a baby, and someone I absolutely adore adopted a little girl from China.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Cody the Dog: 10 years old, cancer
Grandpa Fred: 82 years old, congestive heart failure and complications from surgery
Uncle Art: approx. 65 years old, cancer

5. What countries did you visit?
I had planned to see Mexico this year, but did not. So, just the US of A. Although I did see a lot more of it this year than in years past.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A baby. Less self-inflicted stress. A new wardrobe because I'm still losing weight. And another new wardrobe for when I'm knocked up.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
1/9/04, because that's our wedding anniversary. 9/10/04, because that's when I left my home town of 23 years to move across the country with the love of my life.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Aw, I can only list one? I'd list three. Marrying my husband, getting completely and totally out of debt, and starting my own successful business.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Probably not losing as much weight as I would have liked to, but in retrospect if I did what I did under all the fucking stress I had in 2004, I did well and I'm proud of myself. So there.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a recurrence of plantar fasciitis in my left foot, I sprained the living holy fuck out of my left ankle the day we moved out of Arizona, I got bit by what the doctor thought was a Brown Recluse spider, and I struggled periodically with the looming bulimia relapse.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Crispy Jeebus with a side of ranch, I couldn't even tell you.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My husband's, for steering us straight and standing behind me for all of the amazing changes we've been through.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed disgusted?
51% of the country who re-elected President Dumbass, and I'd tell you the other name(s) but then I'd have to kill you.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Straight into a CD where I can't touch it and it'll make more money than if it were in the savings account.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My lovely Sapphire ring Yule present, meeting my husband's family, my first $2,000 month at my brand new home business.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Probably any song by Maroon 5, since that's the album that got played the fuck over and the fuck over and the fuck over again around here, plus we saw them in concert with our best friend, so yeah. That.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? About the same; this time last year I was planning my wedding.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner.
c) richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
More exercise, more relaxing, more laughing at fucktards.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Less stressing, less freaking out, less taking precious time out of my precious day to deal with fucktards.

20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
Since all the "amateur" drinkers go out on NYE and think they can get hammered and then drive themselves home, we will be probably ringing in the new year here at home with the evening news and some good bubbly. And if all goes as planned, sex.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Every single day, with the same man.

22. How many one-night stands?
I had sex with my husband one night at a time.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, or Wife Swap, or South Park, or Drawn Together, or MAD TV

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Anyone that would qualify for what is traditionally known as "hate" is probably about as important, in the grand scheme of things, as a pimple on a fly's ass. Why put the energy into something like that?

25. What was the best book you read?
I started three or four books and can't say I really finished any of them. Maybe that will be a New Years Resolution.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Maroon 5, maybe?

27. What did you want and get?
Financial stability, a stainless steel martini shaker and set of matching glasses, and a clean bill of health.

28. What did you want and not get?
I'm going to cheat and steal this answer from Joelle too -- a smaller ass.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Wow, there were so many. And so many more I haven't even seen yet. Ummmmmmmmm... I'll take "too many to effectively judge" for 500, Alex.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 34 quietly in my own home after learning, on that day, that my dog had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. So, I had a drink or two and phoned my husband, who was TDY in Biloxi, Mississippi, and cried on the phone to him. I also got flowers. It was a work day.

31.What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?
Oh gosh, maybe if I had actually been able to stick to a real exercise program. I can't think of much else I really want or need in my life right now besides a trimmed up bod.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Sharp and sassy when I had to be a professional powerhouse, laid back and easygoing every other time. It was the year of the V-neck and the low-cut Henley. My fabulous rack loved being shown off.

33. What kept you sane?
S., Maury, Ross, Alex, Kristina, beer at Zipps, darts at the Longshot, and the perfect Cosmopolitan recipe.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
John Mayer, my sexy little music crush.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

36. Who did you miss?
I currently miss Maury, because I used to get to see him every single day and now I don't get to see him at all. I also miss my grandfather. And my dog Cody.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Alex. We ALMOST had sushi in Scottsdale.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
True freedom comes when we allow ourselves the luxury of not giving a shit.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

Rose typed all this stuff at 7:38 PM | #




Anyone know that song?

The pretty little dolly can sit!
The pretty little dolly can stand!
She will even walk around the room
if you take her hand!

The pretty little dolly can turn
the pretty little dolly can dance
if you feed her water through a tube
she'll wet her pants!

Close to fires
she perspires
if you give her a playful squeeze
she will cough and belch and sneeze!

Oh, the pretty little dolly's so cute
the pretty little dolly's so real
if you take her out into the sun she burns
and three days later, she'll peel!

The pretty little dolly can sing
the pretty little dolly can shout
hold her footsies high above her head
and she passes out!

The pretty little dolly can plead
the pretty little dolly can beg
and she screams in realistic pain
when you break her leg!

Heavy drinking
gets her stinking
on her back you can turn a key
and she goes through puberty!

The pretty little dolly can wail
the pretty little dolly can cry
if you put a plastic bag around her head
she'll choke, turn purple, and die

So Santa, remember your part...
and don't break a little girl's heart...
don't forget this Christmas
the pretty little dolly
is the present you must leave!

Remember that, Fat Boy!
Bring that kid
if you wanna see New Years Eve!


Okay. So anyway. I was put back in the Christmas spirit today when I received a GIFT from one of my clients! A $25.00 gift certificate to Bed, Bath and Beyond!

Dude, that's so awesome! A gift from someone who pays me anyway! I've never felt so loved. *sniffle*

Rose typed all this stuff at 4:51 PM | #




I'm sorry for the lack of consistent updates, all. I've been trying to tackle a big translation project that ends up taking all of my energy and focus to do. If I can get it all taken care of and handled before Friday, then I can actually relax on the New Years weekend.

Which is my goal.

So, I might be a little scarce around here for a few days. For that I apologize.

OUr swimming pool is finally unfrozen. Mostly. I took a quicktime movie the other day of us throwing ice cubes onto the frozen pool, but it's too big to post. :(

And, S. is off work still, and will start as Shift Lead on 1/3. So he's trying to relax without getting cabin fever. Having him around here, although it's wonderful, can put a monkeywrench into my concentration sometimes.

And here's another complete tangent shift:

I'm going to join Curves. My mom, as part of my xmas gift, is going to pay the signup fee and then I'll pay the monthly fee. I am hoping it will be able to help me shed a few of these extra pounds, because...

I went to the doctor and...

... the doctor says as far as he's concerned I'm in good enough health to try to get pregnant RIGHT NOW if I wanted to, but if I wanted to lose about 30 pounds, I would be at the "perfect weight."


So, by this time next year I will hopefully be knocked up!

Which also means we're planning a blowout trip to Vegas as our last big hurrah before we officially try to get pregnant.

SO now I'm planning workloads, vacations, baby making, and don't you worry, we're doing LOTS and LOTS of PRACTICE babymaking...

I'm so excited, got the medical go-ahead to breed. I WANT TO BE A MOMMY!!! Children are the most amazing gift and the most incredible blessing ever. I can't wait.

Okay, back to work.

Rose typed all this stuff at 1:30 PM | #


Sunday, December 26, 2004



Well there, howdy DO! It's been a little while! I think I know what the "issue" is with why I haven't been in here, and I suppose that's part of the whole post, so I'll just get right down to it.

First of all, I sincerely hope everyone had a fabulous holiday season, no matter how you'd choose to celebrate it. I'm excited to bloghop and see how everyone's holidays went, see if anyone wanted to post a list of any holiday loot they might have come up with (although the REASON for the SEASON isn't loot, I know, I know) and hear how everyone's chosen to spend their offtime.

Let's see. We did our Yule celebration on Tuesday complete with traditional Yule meal and doing the gift-a-thon. I'm still absolutely in love with my ring (thank you so much for all the amazing comments) and all the rest of my wonderful new toys, which have been well-used in the past few days. S. got some good stuff too, which I forgot to note.

I got S. a set of four Guinness pint-glasses (real bar glasses), about a zillion T-shirts (among them: "All Your Base Are Belong To Us," a caffeine molecule, and other interesting geek shirts), some Guinness apparel including a hat, some memory foam pillows for our bed (okay, so that was for both of us, from me, but I said it was just for him so I could feel all proud of myself), a 1GB SD card for his MP3 player (believe me, he's in the process of filling it up now) (no, we don't have, nor do we want, an iPod, so this is about the next best thing), and my own little piece of jewelry for him, a stainless steel officially licensed and numbered Ford Mustang watch, which he didn't think he was getting. There were other things but I can't remember them all (he hit me with the big guns, I hit him with 12 little guns).

So that was Tuesday. By Thursday, S.'s dad and step-mom came by, but not before I had a very stressful day. Right in the middle of my work for the day, which of course was more work than I thought I was going to have, I got hit with a small problem. My USB pedal that helps me DO my work, decided to get all cattywhompus and didn't work any more. This happened at about 9:00 am. I desperately wanted or needed to be done with my work for the day by between 12:00 and 1:00 so I could give the house a once-over for our incoming guests, who were going to be here possibly as early as 2:00. Of course, after I got it all working again (lost about an hour's time) I then had even MORE work to do because folks were just sending it on over... I had announced I'd be taking Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. So, I was really starting to freak out.

And right in the middle of that? S.'s shithead airman, who couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat, got in some kind of trouble on Wednesday night so S. got to go out to the base on his day off to talk to the Master Sergeant about what's gonna have to happen with Airman Dipshit. This kid is a real piece of work, by the way. You'd wanna believe a Senior Airman would know how to keep his own shit straight and actually not fuck up random things, like, huge, amazingly random, common sense things. I'm constantly amazed. So, S. had to go in and talk with the Superintendent, and do some paperwork, and of course Airman Dipshit didn't even show up THERE like he was supposed to. Shit. Will. Hit. Fan.

S. was gone til about 2pm, which is about the time I finally finished up with my work for the day and started the once-through on the house. S.'s dad and stepmom showed up here at about 3:30pm, and once they got upstairs and got settled in we really had a great time. Cocktails were shared, we took them out to dinner (it's a nice feeling to fight over the check and win, actually, we were so happy to be able to take THEM out to dinner) and stuffed ourselves with Mexican food. We were up pretty late just talking in front of the TV and really had a good visit with them. On Friday morning before they left, they told us how "amazingly comfortable" our guest room bed is, and joked that they thought the guest room was OUR bedroom before we showed them OUR bedroom on the 'grand tour.' They reinforced to us how nice our little apartment is. Who wants to come visit? We've got a spare room!

I guess the Cuntrageous Bitch, which is my little pet name for the bipolar manic borderline personality disorder drug smoking half retarded on-social-security-disability cuntrag that is S.'s ex wife, has been contacting his family, most recently to "return" some photos that S. "left behind" (read: that she scooped up and took with her when she got her ass thrown out of the house TWO YEARS AGO)... they think she's trying to find out some info about S., which they've been kind enough not to share with her. I won't care if we never hear from her psychotic ass again.


So anyway, then Friday rolled around and that's when things started to get a little weird. We got up, farted around, and basically had a very lazy day. By about 11:00am, I just wanted to go down and have a nap. Which I did. Until about 3:30. I actually think that was a little bit of a kneejerk reaction to stress. Here it was, Christmas Eve. I had said I wasn't going to work (although I did work some, not because I **HAD TO** but because I had some work pending and figured I'd better get it done) but I didn't have friends or family to go visit, and I didn't have a big dinner to cook, and I didn't have anything to DO. I'm overly productive, and the fact that I have two big Spanish projects that I'm going to be working on starting tomorrow, kind of hanging there "in the chute," well, that makes me crazy. I don't like having "things to do" on my list, I'd rather work til the list was completely empty. But I'd be working all weekend on this stuff if I got started with it so I am DETERMINED to leave it until Monday. Does that make any sense? Urgh. So my Christmas Eve was a little weird because I was pretty lazy and didn't like the lazy feeling, although it's a feeling and an experience that I much deserved.

Where was I going with that? You see, this is what I get for not blogging for almost a week.

Weather-wise, as an aside, it's been fucking colder than a witch's titty. And since I'm a witch, and I have titties, I would know.

It's been in the NEGATIVE FARENHEIT TEMPERATURES in the late late night/early early morning, if you count the wind chill. Our swimming pool has been frozen over with a sheet of ice, albeit thin, for the last four days. It's probably going to melt today because we're going to be up into the 50's or 60's again soon, but that's a weird feeling to look out and see your neighbors' Christmas lights reflecting in the swimming pool ICE. It's been in single digits WITHOUT wind chill, which makes walking the dog an adventure all in itself. We've just been staying inside as much as we can, and thanking God/dess for Columbia winter jackets and scarves and gloves every day.

Okay, back to the timeline.

Saturday, Christmas, we got up and talked to some family who had all asked us if we had opened their gifts yet. We hadn't. So we settled in and did so.

S.'s grandmother and father/stepmom both gave us the gift of money, which is going to be put aside for some kind of vacation trip this year, I believe. S.'s mom and stepdad sent us towels - beautiful, fluffy, soft, jewel-toned, amazing towels for our bathrooms. So now I can go through and get rid of some of the mismatched ones. Yay!

My grandmother sent us a beautiful framed picture of her and my grandfather, the one who passed away in September. It's going to take an important place somewhere with our other family pictures. It was nice to feel like he was here with us. I cried. My sister and her family sent us some great clothes, and some foofy bath stuff, which worked out great. My mom really went overboared - remember the huge two boxes of gifts? Oh my god, I can't even tell you everything we got. It's unreal. Two pounds of freshroasted coffee from the little beanerie up the street near where she works (which is amazing). Whole beans, thank you. We broke RIGHT into that and whipped up a pot. Or two. And it was fab. Clothes. Many, many clothes including a set of matching ear-warmer scarf gloves things. Perfect footies for both of us - I told S. his are great because he can wear them outside "when" he walks "his" dog.

Candles, foofy bath stuffs (I ask for those kinds of things so I can get ideas for our OWN line of bath products, and they know this so they send small, gift-sets or sample-sizes), gift cards (Target! Kaching! Sears! Kaching!), and SHEETS for our bed! Some oversized sheets for our oversized mattress, thank you very much. And they match our bedspread PERFECTLY. I'm very excited about all of these wonderful household things. My mom also sent lint rollers (to "Boomer" and "Murphy" from "Grandma") and doggy and kitty treats. We got Saturday Night Live Trivial Pursuit complete with the DVD interactive portion. We got an amazing new phone, which is exactly what we needed - it has a digital answering machine and speaker phone and verbal caller ID! Like, the phone rings and then it says, "Call from: (Name)."

Ha! The ultimate in laziness.

Oh, and here's something weird. Remember how pissed off I was that my dad sent a check without a card, note, or anything? We had a long talk with him yesterday, he's spending Christmas with my sister. And the first thing he tells us is, that he talked with my sister and he's really embarrassed that he "only" sent us what he sent us, and that he must have been in a rush, that wasn't what he meant to do, and he's going to be sending us something else, and that he was sorry. Whoa! Dude, I was cool with the $200, I was just frustrated that you asked for a $60 gift that it cost me $20 to send. And you know, that you bought a $600,000 house and that you're buying a $10,000 Harley for your girlfriend and that you are building a $2 million house in Mexico, so I can imagine how that $200 would take a big chunk out of your wallet. *snicker* I was just very surprised to hear that he had a change of heart about it. I wonder if he's going to remember our wedding anniversary (which he was in the throes of sickness when we got married, never really acknowledged it, and then said he was sending us a wedding gift which he never sent) or remember my birthday (which he never does). I have to remember that the new, "sober" dad, isn't the same guy I used to know. I need to take some more time to get to know him. We had a real nice talk, he had a good conversation with S., was impressed at my xmas gift (ring) and said he'd like to come out to visit us here in OKC. How crazy is all of that?? Man, oh man. It's been eventful and enlightning, this holiday.

Last night, I used my Calphalon roasting pan, digital probe thermometer, and all the rest to make an amazing Christmas dinner. I also baked an apple pie which came out BEAUTIFUL. And it was delicious.

This morning, S. made me a lovely mocha capuccino (espresso machine, not new, old) and we're going to head out to hit the crowds for after-Christmas sales and head over to the Commissary, hoping that everyone did their shopping earlier in the week to prepare for xmas so they won't all be there.

Starting tomorrow, I get to dive into a couple big Spanish projects, which will definitely be an interesting proposition. Hopefully I'll get them all finished and come out the other side renewed. I have a tendency to worry about my ability before a big project, you know... will I fulfill my end of the bargain to the client's specifications, will they be happy with my work. And then of course they're usually happy with my work and it all comes out okay. I just have to have a little more faith in myself, I guess. The customer is always right, and when you're working for yourself it means you're actually working for THEM. So, referrals pad the wallet and it makes it all just keep moving forward.

Holy shit, peeps, I can't believe I've typed this much. If you've hung in THIS far, I've got to say I'm thrilled. Thanks for reading. So hey, here's something fun. What did you get for a holiday gift? If your family includes gift-giving as part of your holiday? And if you DIDN'T get a gift or give a gift for holiday, what did you do that makes your holiday traditions your own? Sock it to me!

All the love in the big whole wide world to all y'all! MWAH!!!!

Rose typed all this stuff at 10:30 AM | #


Tuesday, December 21, 2004



Okay, so it's not a song lyric. Shoot me.

I can't stand it. I have to talk about what S. gave me for Yule. I can't hold it back. Can't. Hold. Back.

First, I got the sound card.
Then, I got the roasting pan (with roasting rack).
Then, I got the CPU!
Then, I got the digital probe thermometer!
Then, I got the martini glasses!!
THEN, I got the electric coffee-cup warmer coaster!! Which is something I really


Oh my god, I just can't even believe I'm about to say this.

I got a ring.

Not just any ring, mind you. An absolutely BEAUTIFUL white gold ring with one large sapphire solitare (oval) and twelve round diamonds (six on each side)!!

So. Those of you who know me personally will be surprised to see that I am SO goddamn excited about this ring. I'm not a ring wearer. I'm not a jewelry wearer.

But this ring is so perfect, and so amazingly beautiful, that I will wear it EVERY DAY and I will be SO PROUD to wear it. It's absolutely perfect! It's beautiful without being gaudy, and the white gold makes it match what little silver jewelry I have.

As a matter of fact...

I have to take it up a half size or so, but this is almost what it will look like... I mean, at least almost like what it'll look like on my finger. When it's resized. You know what I mean.

In its natural habitat.

And a little more up close. (Thanks, honey, for taking the shot)

Ah, the bling bling!


My husband is the BEST! EVAR!

A merry and Blessed Yule to all!

Rose typed all this stuff at 9:20 PM | #




Blessed YULE! Happy Winter Solstice! Cheerful 4 Days Until Christmas! Whatever you call it, today is a pretty good day.

Got up this morning, wandered into the kitchen where S.'s gorgeous pot of chili had been cooking all night in the crock pot. The whole house smelled like chili! But as chili is not exactly the breakfast of champions, I passed on a bite. (now that he's taken it to work and all his crew have eaten it, I am quite sad that I didn't get a bite of it.)

We've been so focused on the "Christmas" aspect of this week, since that's what all of our families celebrate, that S. was momentarily taken off guard that today is Yule! So, when I reminded him of same, he asked me if I wanted to open a gift.

How could I pass up that opportunity?

S. got to open one from me, as well. He got a Mooby The Golden Cow plus toy from Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash (we're rabid Kevin Smith fans) and I got a perfect, wonderful, amazing gift that brings out my super-duper uberGEEK grrrl.

I got a new CPU for my computer! Yes, a NEW PROCESSOR for my beloved computer. S. has been talking about getting me one and upgrading my machine a little bit, and I never thought it was enough of a "priority," although I would definitely have enjoyed it. So what did that crazy guy do? Ordered me one... told me he was gonna blow the dust out of my case and blah blah blah, and that adorable man was looking up the model/serial no of my motherboard so he knew what kind of processor it would tolerate.

So! Geek girl gets a new processor!

I then was so happy that I let him open another gift (I have more gifts in quantity for him, though they aren't as costly each one, as what he's got wrapped up for me) (we spent the same amount of money)... so I let him open his 2-pack of Guinness Extra-Stout boxer shorts.


So now the veggies are in the roasting pan waiting for dinnertime to roll around, and I'm done working, and a big Spanish project is rolling in as we speak, and things are good.

UPDATE!!!!! We exchanged some more gifts, among them a T-shirt and some cologne for S., and for me? FOR ME? First of all, a beautiful set of very cool blue martini glasses. The 12-oz kind. No skimping. Yay! And THEN? A Pyrex digital remote probe thermometer!! Oh my god, it's a good cook's wet dream, or something. This is definitely Rose's Kitchen Christmas. Or Yule. Or whatever it is we're doing tonight. So, I just had to say. The ol' boy is doing a damned good job of making sure I keep him fed all year. THANK YOU BABY! SQUEEEEEEEE!


About freaking time.


Rose typed all this stuff at 2:54 PM | #


Monday, December 20, 2004



Sorry I haven't been around for a few days. Besides being in a royal funk, I also spent most of the weekend working to try to "catch up" my month.

First of all, I thought I was developing a case of eyestrain. I had these raging headaches right behind one eye that were exacerbated by working. Those started on Thursday, and finally today they have gone away. So in that way, I am among the land of the living.

My weekend was interesting.

My dad has announced to us two kids that his young chippie (see May-June-July 2004) and he are going to try shacking up, in Las Vegas. He's bought a house and moved her and her children in. He wasn't going to say anything to us until after the holiday so he didn't "ruin it for us" but it ended up coming out.

Bottom line is, I can't rightly care. My dad's healthy now and seems to be out of danger for the most part. I can't tell him how to live his life, so that's that. I'm just not putting too much energy into worrying about it.

So then on Sunday, I got a phone call from my dad telling me that his best friend, who is practically an uncle to me, died (rather suddenly) on Sunday morning. Although it was a huge shock to my sister and me, it apparently had been coming... he had been diagnosed with lung cancer some time in the last week and it got ahold of him much faster than anyone might have thought. So, I spent part of Sunday mourning that and tried to bury my pain and grief in my work. It doesn't always work, but it seemed to cover up my sadness for a while, anyway.

It was a great feeling to announce to my clients this morning that I will be taking Friday off. I wish I were taking Tuesday (Yule) off, but I'm not. S.'s schedule tweaked a little bit and he is going in to work tomorrow, so I may as well work. It's no big deal. I'll be putting a nice Yule dinner on the stove and in the oven so we can celebrate with a feast.

I believe we will also open some gifts tomorrow.

Speaking of gifts, I got another "early Christmas present" today! S. brought me home a Calphalon roasting pan with a perfect roasting rack (with handles)!! Squeeeeeee! I can't say I've been any more excited about the acquisition of any kitchen implement in quite some time. I can't wait to load it up with root veggies for the roasting tomorrow.

And, S.'s dad is going to be here on Thursday with his wife, they are staying until Friday. It was very kind, they asked us if we wanted to join (the wife's) family in Kansas for Christmas. We declined, but it was still a nice thought.

Oh, and I did something very nice for myself, went and got a manicure with a beeeyoooootiful holiday red polish. Very sexxay.

So. Yule is tomorrow. That probably means I should get to bed so I'm not wiped out. Gotta get up early and work, mang.

Hope everyone has a safe and wonderful Yule, whether you celebrate it or not!

Rose typed all this stuff at 9:09 PM | #


Friday, December 17, 2004



1) Got more work today.

2) Everyone I sent presents to have received them.

3) S.'s dad is coming out and will be here on the 23rd to spend Christmas with us.

4) S. has to work December 22 from 7a to 3p.

5) After today, that's the only day S. has to work until 1/3.

6) That means he will be cooking Yule dinner instead of me, since I hopefully will be working that day.

7) S. says there's a box coming for him today, a gift for me.

8) It is from Bed, Bath and Beyond! Squee!

9) We are going to go eat Sushi tonight, because it is Date Night.

10) I've made a new friend in the OKC area and get to chat with her during the day!

11) Should be able to get together face to face in January!

12) Yule is in 4 days!

13) S. loves me for who I am, even if I am occasionally a fucked up wreck.

I guess that's it. At least for now. A little exercise in gratitude.

Rose typed all this stuff at 10:36 AM | #


Thursday, December 16, 2004



Shamelessly stolen from Rue. I figured I could use a little ego boost. Follow me, my wonderous flock! Behold the mystical text of my new religion!''

New Religion Creation
'New Age Text'

From the most silver regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Joey Ramone, bringing to you the wisdom and balloon of the lost city of Seattle. To usher in the New Age of books you must heed my words and skate rapidly. The time is soon when the space SUV's of our galactic cousins will return and our collective purpleness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the toe chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd nostril shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner fingernail. We must feel the inner fingernail, become the inner fingernail, slice it as though it was a fence. We must accept our karmic past, and, as our yogi master, Mortimer, always says 'The true form of a gutter is actually a tasty lemon drop , but enlightenment is like a blustery shingle on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no box or anti-box, only one great and omnipresent canister.

(go here if you want to make your OWN religion!)

So. If there is no box or anti-box, only one great and omnipresent canister... do I even want to go there?

Rose typed all this stuff at 1:38 PM | #




Well! When I am going to remember, I need to be careful what I wish for?

After two days of lots and lots of work, and feeling a little run down in the process, I awoke today to find I have NOTHING scheduled.


I've got a couple quickie jobs in the hopper that I'll crank out this morning, and hopefully I'll hear from a couple different companies with some other "filler" work today. But basically, it's not going to be a heavy day.

That's a good thing, since I've already packaged all of our Christmas cards/incense for the family (we are sending them all some powdered incense in a scent S. created, called "Winter Solstice"), hung two Command strips in the entryway for winter coats (hat clips coming soon), had a cup of coffee, and I guess I'll take the dog out for his walk.

S. keeps telling me that it's OKAY if I don't have close-to-full-time work every day, or if I don't reach a certain dollar value of my work every day, because this is a part time job and basically everything I make is going into savings now. Of course, in December some of it will be used to pay for Xmas/Yule gifts so we aren't paying for them all year (we have an airline mileage card that we use for all big purchases, then pay that sucker right off). But anyway, I have issues. I lost about $300 last week waiting on my big Spanish project to come in, and it got postponed at the last minute. So, when I was keeping my days light PLANNING to bust my hump and make a bunch of money, the lady on the other end kept dragging her feet. It set me behind. I'm about $300 behind my "goal" for the month and it makes me feel less worthy.

Of anything.

But then, see, that mentality gets me into frames-of-mind not unlike my Tuesday night, which was freaking insane. I was basically in front of my computer waiting for a sound file to come across, at 9:30pm my time. And I worked on said file and returned it by 11:30pm my time. And that, my friends, fucking sucked. Because I had worked on a bunch of good jobs all the way from 7am-ish to about 4:30pm-ish without much of a break. I didn't even eat that day. Bad. Bad Rose.

That was the beginning of my burnout feeling, and it sucked.

I'm learning that the life of someone self-employed can be feast or famine. And here I was preparing for the big feast, when what actually hit was a famine. Serves me right. I'm not rearranging my workdays for big clientele anymore... if they come in to me then they come in to me. If they send me a project, THEN I will worry about how I'm going to get it done.

I think part of my problem is I am very customer-service oriented. And I want to tell everybody, "yes." And I will work fucking 24 hours a day to meet a deadline if I have to. It's just how I am. The customer isn't always right, but they deserve to get their money's worth both in how I treat them and how the work is produced. Is that so unusual any more?

So. Anyway. I should go get dressed and take the dog out, so I can wrap the last two Yule gifts for my hubby. It's starting to look more and more like Christmas around here, with all of the gifts strewn everywhere. My mom went WAY overboard on Xmas and sent us two huge boxes of presents. I had to take our little tabletop tree off the table, and put it on the floor because I didn't have room for all the gifts. I sent my mom "before" and "after" pictures of the present-o-rama, and she got a real kick out of it. She's going to struggle a lot with us away from home at the holiday.

What was I saying?

Ah, yes. Dog.

Rose typed all this stuff at 7:40 AM | #


Wednesday, December 15, 2004



I'm tired.

I am, I believe, on the verge of suffering from some sort of burnout.

I have the overwhelming desire to go lay down, so instead I am going to go to the gym. Good on me. Right? Right?

Then I will shower. THEN maybe I will sneak a nappypoo or something.


I better not be getting sick.

Rose typed all this stuff at 3:24 PM | #


Tuesday, December 14, 2004



Note To Self:

Typing from early early butt crack of dawn early in the morning, until 4:30p.m., is not a grand idea.

Another Note To Self:

Agreeing to take another file at 10:00 at night is not a grand idea.

Another Note To Self:

Get some rest.

Rose typed all this stuff at 9:34 PM | #




And your ears. And your cheeks. And your car.

How long has it been since I had to actually start my car, lock the keys in it, blast the defroster, and just come back later?

How long, I ask?

About ten minutes.

And before that?

The last time I ever did that, before that, it wasn't my car. I was a kid. I grew up in Alaska, where people plug their cars in for the night so the batteries don't freeze, where salt on the driveway was a given, and where an ice scraper was the Accessory Of The Season. And then we moved to Anacortes, Washington, which is not-so-much cold like Alaska, and then we moved to Arizona. Where I spent 23 years. And two or three times used a credit card to scrape a gentle layer of twinkling frost off my windshield.

Two. Or. Three. Times.

This morning, we had a whopping 22 degrees (but with the wind chill it was a massive 13 degrees) and I hadn't secured a good parking spot yesterday after coming home from Kinko's/FedEx. So, what did I figure I'd do? Move the truck.

Fat chance.

I peeked out the office window as I was finishing the first (small) wave of transcription this a.m. over a piping hot cup of vanilla caramel coffee, and saw ice.

I can't even call it frost. That's ice, to me. At least after 23 years of Arizona, it is.

Upon S.'s recommendation, I grabbed the second set of keys and wandered out with dog in tow to the truck, which was in less-than-ideal-but-far-from-the-worst-ever parking place #2, and fired 'er up. I turned the defroster on full blast. I turned the heater on full hot. And I locked the keys in it, and took Boomer on the rest of his walk.

He doesn't seem to mind the cold as much as he minds the wet, but he still is having some issues. Frost-covered grass, for example, is first cold, but then as you stand on it to take a crap it becomes wet. This is something his little peanut brain hasn't quite grasped yet. So he'd walk along on the grass looking for a place to pee, sniff out a spot, realize his feet were wet, and move on. If the neighbors heard me they'd think I'm a batty old lady... "Poopie. Poopie. Come on, take a poopie right here. Don't you want to potty? Let's potty over here. Potty on this sign. Come on, potty. Let's go potty. Go potty so we can go bye-bye in the truck! Come on, good boy, let's go potty. How about a poopie?"

Good lord. Maybe I AM a little batty.

So, after a good 5-7 minutes of warming up the truck had just enough clarity in the windshield that I could see. The rear window was not nearly defrosted. But the temperature in the truck was warmer than the 13 degrees it was outside, so I was just FINE with that. We drove, slowly, creeping around the office building and snagged the second parking spot from the stairwell. RAWK.

The dog is now curled up on his bed here in the office, no doubt glad that we came back upstairs. When I got to the top of the breezeway stairs, I unleashed him and he RAN to the door, hopping around in circles, making these pitiful and pathetic yet urgent and demanding whine/bark noises. He stood in front of our door and wagged his tail and looked at me as if to say, "It's goddamned cold out here, woman, and it's time for me to have a cookie. Get a move on."

I think I need more coffee.

Later: Our Hellacious Experience At Kinko's/FedEx.

Rose typed all this stuff at 8:53 AM | #


Saturday, December 11, 2004



What a day.

Oh, not to insinuate I actually DID anything STRENUOUS today. I am in fact still wearing my Harley-Davidson T-shirt, except now I have my hair in a ponytail in lieu of willy nilly about my head, and I have sweat pants on instead of shorts. I have eaten leftover gorditas from the Best. Mexican. Restaurant. Ever. I have had an absolutely fabulous conversation with this bitch. I have wrapped all the "gotta send them out" presents. I even received the gift for my sister I didn't think I was going to get by xmas... a 6-in-one Kitchen Utensil, Scoop-N-Strain, and Grip-N-Flip. Yes, off the TV. Yes, with the annoying infomercial. It will even pick up a thin dime! Yes. Yes, a thousand times YES! Besides, her gift came free with MY purchase for MYSELF... the same set of three fantabulous kitchen utensils.

I shall review them for you, yea verily.

A surprise gift for a dear friend who doesn't know it's coming, has also been wrapped and is ready to be sent.

And I watched Animal Cops on the Discovery Animal Planet channel.

And I flipped and flipped.

And my copy of FRIDA showed up today through NetFlix, so now I am debating putting it in and seeing if I can get S. to sit down and watch it with me.

Hrm. What else did I do. Got pissy with my husband for no particular reason because I'm shitty like that sometimes... petted my dog (though I haven't had to walk him because the same wonderful S. was lovely enough to do it for me).

Oh, received another one of S.'s presents in the mail so THAT parade of gifts is nearly ready.

Hm. What else.

Not much else, I guess.

Wow, I suppose I DID get some things done today. I wonder why I feel like it was such a lazy day.

So, here's a question for all of you. I love how I can totally be all like, feminine and shit, and hop from one topic to another without a segue and without really caring about how it disrupts the life of you, the reader.

Ahem. The question.

So I was thinking a nice way to get to know some folks would be to have a little "open house" and invite some people that we've started to get to know. I was thinking I'd mull some wine or make some wassail, perhaps some spiced apple cider (spiked and non-), and some hors d'ouvres, and just invite folks over to mingle and jingle and hang out. Play some darts, maybe play some games, eat, drink, you know, enjoy the holiday season.

I was thinking. Anyway.

So would YOU do that? Not a raging party. Just one of those, "if you're out and want to stop over, stop over." I'll drink the mulled wine myself if no one shows up, so that's not a big concern for me. Heh.

C'mon, someone help me out. Ways to engage new acquaintances around the holiday season???????

YOU'RE ALL INVITED, GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rose typed all this stuff at 5:18 PM | #




Shamelessly whored from a lovely redhead.

Three names you go by:

Three things you like about yourself:
I am a great friend
I'm honest to a fault and trustworthy
I'm giving

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
I could stand to lose more weight
I procrastinate going to the gym
I carry a huge, looming sense of responsibility and use it to measure my self-worth

Three parts of your heritage:

Three things that scare you:
Severe weather (tornado, thunderstorm, hurricane)
Bugs that bite or sting you
Ever losing my husband S.

Three of your everyday essentials:
Multiple cups of coffee in the morning
Brisk walks with the dog in the crisp winter air
IM'ing with friends

Three things you are wearing right now:
Harley-Davidson T-shirt
Oversized cotton shorts
Socks to keepses my toeses warmses

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
John Mayer
Counting Crows

Three of your favorite songs at present:
"Mothers" by John Mayer
"How Far Is Heaven" by Los Lonely Boys
"Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Contracting out some of my English work so I can focus on Spanish work.
Getting pregnant
Make more friends here and entertain more.

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
Friendship (Yes, I left these the same as ASB did and EJ before her, I couldn't find a better answer to save my life.)

Two truths and a lie:
I don't really hate anyone, no matter how fucktardish they are. I just pity them.
I have one blue eye and one brown eye.
I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:

Three things you just can't do:
Let a friend suffer in any way without trying to help
Not express myself

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Cooking and baking
Making incense and smelly things
Writing poetry or short stories

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
Wrap all the "gotta send across country" gifts and take them to FedEx
Have sex
Make it be Yule already so I can see S. open his presents

Three careers you're considering:
Billionaire Philanthropist
Adoring Mommy
Incense Mogul

Three places you want to go on vacation:
Exploring Olmec, Mayan and Aztec ruins in Mexico and Central America
Fabulous cruise anywhere warm and tropical
Los Barriles, Mexico

Three kids names:

Three things you want to do before you die:
Raise a loving and well adjusted family
See Europe
Look at myself in a mirror and be happy with how I look

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully:
Special K

Mwah, my pretties.

Rose typed all this stuff at 10:31 AM | #




Shamelessly whored from Serene_Dharma.

You Are the Girl Next Door!

You're caring, warm, and the girl that nice guys want to marry.
Uncomplicated and simple, you've got an easy going attitude guys love.
But this doesn't mean you're dull - far from it!
You're a great conversationalist, and you're an expert at living the good life.

What Kind of Girl Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Rose typed all this stuff at 10:15 AM | #


Friday, December 10, 2004



Ever have one of those weeks where things just don't go quite how you planned them? But then somewhere in your heart, you just know that things happen for a reason and that even though you had grand plans for how it was gonna go, it just didn't come through quite like you thought?

Yeah, me too.

Where should I start?

Monday I did a very cool Spanish project for one of my new clients, and raked in the dough for same. Monday afternoon I received the actual cassette recordings for my "Big Spanish Job" that I've been so excited to start.

Monday night, sound card replacement. Tuesday. All day. All. Fucking. Day. I recorded the audio off of the cassette tapes and into digital so I could start transcribing it.




So Tuesday night I was pretty much completely shagged out because all I had done was record audio and convert it to .mp3. Tuesday night I emailed the lady telling her as soon as I had the template for the transcription I could begin (it's a legal project with specific rules). She writes back and says I'll have it Wednesday morning. So, I do not schedule any other projects for Wednesday. Other clients are emailing me, asking me to let them know when I am available to do other work, they're all being very patient. I talk to the lady on the phone and she assures me I'll have it on Wednesday.

And yea verily, for I did go to bed thinking I would have the format in hand on Wednesday morning and that I would be starting the project and that I would be done by Friday.

Wednesday morning, I get outta bed, stumble to the kitchen, pour myself a cup of ambition and find that I don't have the template. Not only do I not have it but the lady has emailed me to tell me that I won't have it until 4pm her time on Wednesday, which is 6pm my time on Wednesday. So I wrapped gifts and tried to decorate a little and did some work around the house.

Wednesday night I get all excited because a Spanish project I bid on a month ago that I thought they ran the other way screaming when they heard my rate because they never wrote back, emailed back to tell me they were processing a PO and want to FedEx their tapes and notes to me next week so I can translate them. So I write back, figuring I'll have this first project done by then, and tell them midweek would be great, send it over, woo hoo, here's my quote again, thank you for your business.


Thursday I wander into the office and find that not only do I not have any overnight work that's trickled in because I told everyone I wasn't available so I could work on the project, but I also don't have the template. So I figure, I'll stick around home and she'll email it to me by 8am surely, then by 9am surely, which are 10am and 11am respectively my time (she's in California)... well, I didn't get them. So, instead I made a maintenance call to the apartments, I went out and did some final Xmas shopping for stockingstuffers and stuff like that, did some chores, cleaned more, did two loads of laundry...

But. Thursday morning I had this conversation with my husband.

Rose: God dammit. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
S: What?
Rose: I still don't have the goddamn template. I can't start the project. Again.
S: Well, that's okay.
Rose: No! It's not! I already told everyone else I can't work today.
S: It's fine, baby.
Rose: It certainly is not.
S: Yes. It is.
Rose: You aren't frustrated?
S: At what?
Rose: At me not having consistent work this week?
S: No. Should I be?
Rose: You aren't frustrated?
S: No. I'm not. Neither should you be.

So he went to work, I tried to get ahold of some work (found a little) and wrapped gifts, more presents came to the house, started to get dinner ready, cleaned up for "dart night," you know, took care of everything. Because I have to keep reminding myself that THAT is part of my contribution to this household. Keeping everything up.

And then this morning I still didn't have the template. So I'm waiting on a little work to come my way.


I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth... my free time this week gave me the chance to get presents wrapped and cards mailed and all that stuff. I just wish I could have done that AND make a bunch of money!

At least if I have both Spanish projects next week I'll make 2 weeks pay in one week.

And then I'll be caught up, booyah.

Rose typed all this stuff at 9:40 AM | #


Wednesday, December 08, 2004



Hey, y'all.

I am working up a good post but have to get some work done today before I can do that. I just wanted to drop in a touch base with a quickie.

I had a fabulous phone conversation with this girl today, and even though she's long since gone to bed (time difference) I wanted to let her know that I really REALLY enjoyed our talk!! It's so nice to hear a friendly voice at the other end of the phone. Makes me not feel quite so lonely. Poor girl, I must have talked her ear off but she was amazingly patient with me. I don't get on the phone much because I still don't really know anyone here in Oklahoma yet. I have to start changing that.

S. just emailed me from work, looks like Thursday night will be "dart night" here at Casa S and Rosie, because we're gonna have people over here for darts and snacks and stuff. Should be fun and maybe I'll even get back into throwing darts. It's something I enjoy even though I kind of suck at it, and maybe if we get good enough we can get into a league or something. Now I just have to find a local place with dart boards that isn't a run down looking old bar.

Okay, carry on everybody. I'll be back hopefully later!

Rose typed all this stuff at 1:10 PM | #


Tuesday, December 07, 2004



Our tiny little Christmas tree/Yule bush/Happy Time Fun Twig.

Happy Time Fun Twig, with new lighted goodness!

Wall-O-Stockings. Today only, comes with Super Tropical Silk Plant Tree With Flashing Yule Bush Lights!

Lights! Flash! And! Change! Colors!

He's had a hard day with all these decorations and wrapping and holiday music and stuff. Leave him alone! Get off his back! Can't a guy relax?

Dog abuse! Dog abuse!

Rose typed all this stuff at 1:55 PM | #


Monday, December 06, 2004



Yule came early at Rose's house!

S., I know you'll read this sooner or later. I love you, thank you so much for thinking of me even when I wasn't, and thank you for finding a 24-bit Soundblaster on sale, and thank you for having it stashed away waiting for Yule, and thank you for pulling it out and saying, "CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY!" and fixing my sound dilemma on the biggest project I've worked on yet.

Damn, baby. You're so good to me.

Rose typed all this stuff at 7:58 PM | #




Okay. So. Now that I got all the piss and vinegar out of my system and am (kind of) done working for the day, maybe I can write a little about what's going on around here. As if you couldn't tell from my evil hate mail.

First of all, let me just say that it is pouring rain. BUCKETS! And for some reason, I am kinda digging it. Okay, so I'm really digging it. It's so rainy the screens on the windows are all clogged up with little droplets of water and I can't see out them.

That also makes it so rainy I don't want to go out on the balcony and light the Magesty That Is The Christmas Lights On Our Balcony.

I'm going to get a picture of it some time soon. It's not quite... done... yet. Seems like every time we go out we find something else that just HAS to go on the balcony.

Work-wise, things are going pretty good. I did a big project today and made about two days' salary between 7am and 2pm. It's good work if you can get it. Fortunately or unfortunately, they will be farther between than I'd like. So, while I'm recording the cassette tapes of my next Spanish project, what should happen but they are copies of the original cassettes, and some volume got lost in the transfer. So, that makes the transfer to digital that much more fun. The digital recorder picks up all the hum and the noise from the tape mechanism in the tape player, so it made it even harder to hear. S. is going to come home soon and says he has some ideas on how to make it better. At least I cleared my whole week to work on this project if it's going to take me that long. But... with the quality of tapes like it is, I'll exceed my quote. Which would also suck.

I slept like a rock last night. I mean, some seriously good sleep. However, on the "everything against my wonderful eating plan" front, we had pizza (sigh) and I singlehandedly polished off a couple bottles of ... get this... Andre. No, not the nasty disgusting Andre Cold Duck you might remember... this is Andre Strawberry and Andre Peach, which were bought on a whim ($3 at the Class Six)and were like drinking a piece of fruit. Except it's bubbly. And cold. And alcoholic. It's like drinking a piece of bubbly, cold, alcoholic fruit. I'd say that put my sugar intake well over the top.

Well, time to go do laundry and get the kitchen ready to make dinner later, try to avoid the dog because he THINKS he wants to go potty but I'll get all dressed and stuff and we'll get halfway down the stairs and he'll freak out, so we won't be doing THAT any time soon...

I know, blah de blah de blah. Sigh. Believe it or not, this is an improvement over a few days ago, and I actually *am* coming around.

Life is good, thank you all for the happy sentiments and all of the emotional support. It does not go unnoticed, and I really appreciate it. I'm just... you know, some days we just struggle with who we are and where we fit, even if we know exactly where that is. This week has just been a string of "those days" all put together.

Mwah! Love ya!

Rose typed all this stuff at 3:23 PM | #




Dear Fucking Asshat Fucktard Dickhole,

I don't know who you are or why you feel the need to ring my house at 4:00 a.m. Yes, 4:00 a.m. I'm not sure if maybe you're the same pudwhacking drunk dialer who rang us at 2:00am some time last week, thinking you'd get ahold of your buddy or your girlfriend or your ex girlfriend or your booty call or whoever the hell you're trying to reach. Suffice it to say they do not live HERE. In addition, letting the phone ring three times and hanging up JUST as I am awake enough to ANSWER the fucking thing makes you even more of a fuckity fuck fuck fucktard. I just thought you should know.

Go to hell,


Dear ABC Distributing,

Just a quick note to thank you for completely fucking up the plan for my mom to get the gift she wanted for her birthday. Not only was her birthday weeks ago, but for some reason you now are telling her you won't deliver the gift to her although she had to order it herself. This, of course, comes after you sent the gift to ME because you wouldn't drop-ship it, and then instructed me to send it back to you. Thankfully, your phone lines and technology leave something to be desired and I have been unable to get through to your customer service department (all circuits are busy) to get a drop-tag. If this had happened, I would be unable to take this 35 pound box down to my local Kinko's and Fed-Ex Ground it to my mom so she will maybe have her gift before Christmas.

From her birthday.

Three weeks ago.

Keep on truckin',


Dear prospective client,

I'm not sure what you're getting yourself into by soliciting transcription at such an amazing rate of pay, but I'm not going to argue with you. If you want to email me and offer me what is 2-3x the going rate per line for legal transcription and offer me a minimum of 900 lines a day if I want it, I am not going to turn you down. I might not think it's very good business sense for you to wholesale your work for what most people retail it for, but more power to ya. You can bet I will work my ass off and get as many lines as I can at as high a rate as I can just in case the bottom drops out and people stop being willing to pay you.

In the meantime, I hope you'll write me back and confirm my eligibility to work with you. And pay me lots of money. Kaching.

Seeing dollar signs,


Dear asshat owners of the bulldog in building 9,

Look, you ignorant pieces of shit. You're really putting me in a bad situation, here. Not only have I already reported you once for not leashing your dog, but I've also reported you for not picking up the dog's shit.

Just in case you hadn't noticed, the huge brown stinky mushy piles of foul-smelling paste that come out of your goddamned 40 pound bulldog's rectum? That's dog shit.

And as a reminder, the pole in the middle of the common area, six feet from where I found a steaming pile of your dog's shit this morning? The one with the sign that says, "PICK UP AFTER YOUR DOG, IT'S THE LAW" with a stick figure of a guy bending over and picking up his dog's steaming pile of shit? The one with the shit-bag dispenser on it and handy dog shit disposal canister? That's a dog shit station.

You obviously don't care.

If I have to pull my dog away from, see, step in, or smell ONE more gram of your dog's gargantuan shits just because you are too fucking lazy to walk six extra feet to grab a shitbag and dispose of it, thereby exposing all the other dogs in the area to whatever the fuck diseases your dog might have because you obvoiusly aren't anything resembling a courteous OR responsible dog owner, I'm going to report you again. And then I'm going to report you for everything I can. Parking violations, barbecue on your balcony, dogs not on leashes, you fucking name it.

Get your shit together, pun intended. You don't want to fuck with me this holiday season.


PS: If you think I don't know where you fucking live, guess again. I can see into your living room from here, Pricky McPrickville. Now stop being such an asswipe.

Pun intended again.

Rose typed all this stuff at 1:40 PM | #


Saturday, December 04, 2004



It's official.

I officially have one of the worst cases of grinchy fucking bitchy gripey hate-everything-about-the-holiday don't-know-why-I-bother holidays-suck-erism that I have probably ever had in my normal adult life.

We got started on our decorations last night. Rather than dig to the back of the storage unit to try to find some of our xmas stuff, we bought a little $15 lighted tabletop tree and some non-glass decorations to go on it. Our little tree is now festooned in royal blue, irridescent clear, clear lights, and silver stars. It's a cute little thing. I just hope it'll be enough to start swinging the tide from "fucking hate this holiday" to "Yay! I love this holiday!"

I don't know what my problem is, really. I suppose I have to assume it's a compilation of all the little things that have been bringing me down. But I'll just have to get over it.

A prime example of me being pissy is last night. I got an envelope in the mail from my dad. It was a check. He mis-spelled S.'s name on the envelope, and sent a modest check to us with no note, no card, nothing. On the memo portion of the check it reads, "Xmas." It's 1/3 less than last year's Xmas gift, but it's not really about the money. Actually it's not AT ALL about the money.

I would have liked to get a little note from my dad, or a phone call telling me it was coming, or something. After the year I had with my father (looking for a hoot? Read back in June and July of 2004) and everything me and my sister did for him, I guess I just feel like he could have been a little more... family-like. Instead of mailing a check (he didn't even fold it in a piece of paper, just put it in an envelope... it's lucky it got here) he could have said "thank you" for helping to save his life, or "thank you" for putting up with his abusive shit, or "thank you" for being a good kid, or anything.

So. That just made me question everything about Xmas, again, in my family. My mom's freaked out about how many presents she can send us, my dad sends us a check for $200 (okay - so - yes, that's $200 more than I had yesterday and I am NOT ungrateful for same... but considering three weeks ago he was on the phone with me and my sister and was telling her she should go out and find a $2,000 four-wheel ATV for the family and that would be his gift to them, yeah I'm feeling a little torqued) (my sister told him no, they didn't need an ATV, and could he please select something different, so they got a check also, but not for $2,000). Anyway.

So I changed the header on the blog again because if I'm fucking decorating around here, then I'm going to decorate on the blog roo. It's also probably time for me to start playing some Christmas music or something. I don't know. I just... I don't know.

I don't like hating the holiday. I don't like feeling depressed. I just need to get my shit together.

And decorate some more.

Rose typed all this stuff at 1:10 PM | #


Friday, December 03, 2004



I am so wound up, I can't see straight.

Another day, another dollar. Right?

Whew. For not having worked the whole week (had two slow days, really) I sure do feel tired. There are a number of reasons for that, I guess.

Could be PMS. Yes, probably TMI but this is a blog, and you're here, and you're reading, so you're going to have to deal with it. Neener neener.

Could be the fact that in an effort to control calories (not in an effort to follow a diet craze) we have eliminated complex carbohydrates like bread, tortillas, pasta, candy, et. al. from our diet(s), and I'm starting to have low-carb depression. I want tortilla chips and salsa at the little Mexican place, I want pasta, I want rice with gravy, want want I want I want I want want want want. God dammit.

Could be the weather (cold).

Could be... uh... carbs.

But, I shouldn't bitch TOO hard. Overall it's been a pretty choice week!

The big transcription company I was kind of on the hook for with the Spanish stuff, well, they sent me a sample of Spanish transcription. And when I was looking at it, I was surprised to find that there were no accents anywhere in the file. None. No tildes, no accents over vowels, nothing that makes the Spanish language, the Spanish language. So after getting in a HUGE IM rant with Tragic, babbling incessantly about how fucking stupid it is that someone's been making all this money by doing it half-assed, and how I can do it so much better than that person can, and how I can't believe they'd let it go out like this, and how my standards of quality are obviously so far above the norm it's fucking insane, you know... typical irritable woman rants.

So I got on the phone with the guy today and pointed that out to him. He asked some questions, like whether or not I have a "spanish keyboard" (he thought I needed one to make the accents) and whether or not I "usually" put the accents in when I type Spanish... I basically told him that I do it right, and I wouldn't let something out of here unless it was right...

Guess who is now the exclusive Spanish transcriptionist for that same company?

*points at self and gestures wildly*

It's true. Do a good job and people hunt you down!

Next week with all the Spanish work I'm going to have, I'm probably not even going to have any time to do any English work. And THAT discussion led me to THIS discussion:

Rose: Good morning, sunshine.
Tragic Mind : Gooooooooooooood morning!
Rose: So. I am so irritable today I can't even see straight.
Rose: Which makes it a PRIME blogging day, but I can't til I get some work done.
Tragic Mind: Something to look forward to, anyway...
Rose: Heh.
Rose: What I *DID* do is I made a "shameless plug" on the side of my blog. I might just have to get a new domain for my transcription.
Rose: like "www.reallyfasttypist.com"
Rose: which happens to be available
Tragic Mind: What about "zoomkeys.com"?
Rose: zoom keys! Heh, that's cool!
Tragic Mind: Rolls off the tongue (and fingers on keyboard) better, IMO
Rose: Apparently, available!
Tragic Mind: "Let my fingers do the running!"
Rose: Ha!
Rose: I might just have to do that.
Rose: You're a marketing genius.
Tragic Mind: Naw... I've just been doing this for a while...

Then, Shanna and I, and Tragic and I, were emailing logo ideas back and forth. And verily for I did register a domain for my transcription services. Things keep up like they are and I'm going to have to find someone to contract some of my English typing out to, so I can do my Spanish typing. It's amazing.

Another little holiday joy is that our apartment complex is going to have a balcony decorating contest, and the first prize is $200 off January's rent. I would LOVE to have that happen, so we are making a shopping trip out to Michael's or Garden Ridge come hell or high water, because I want to win. And because I want to decorate. Naked with socks. That's how I feel, naked with socks on.

Hrm. Uh. Yeah.

Another little holiday blessing? I've lost five pounds.

Another little holiday blessing? We basically FINISHED our holiday shopping for family, not for each other, last night. Thank you, AAFES and amazing Tinker AFB BX. Okay, well maybe it's not SO amazing, but we got some screaming deals. SCREAMING deals. I'm about $200 under budget for family gifts.


Did I say Rock On?

So with all this wondefulness, why am I wound up and antsy and irritable? Why do I want to massacre stupid people and eliminate the scourge from the planet? Why do I have so little patience for people who rub me the wrong way? Why have I cursed at bad drivers, bad typists, stupid idiots on the television, fucktards of all shape and size? Why is the Asshat Patrol making their rounds in front of me whenever possible so I have more and more to be irritated at?

I don't know. And that is why I love hormones, and that is why I love carbs.

And that's why the Korn disc that's playing in the background is exactly what I needed to hear right now, because it'll fuel my fire and then hopefully let me get some of this crap out of my system.

Out, damned spot.

Now. I've got a decorating contest to hopefully win.

Rose typed all this stuff at 3:10 PM | #


Thursday, December 02, 2004



Christmas is coming a little early around Casa Rose. I just can't be more thrilled with how things are working out. So, I am going to dump my guts here in a flurry of sunshine and roses, in an effort to warm my creaking cold fingers on this brisk cool chilly crisp very freaking cold (20 degrees again) morning.

The big Spanish job I was waiting on, got delayed. So as I was freaking out and cursing about and stomping around here trying to figure out what I was going to do in the meantime, I got a phone call from a company I tested with last week. Turns out not only are they going to be able to give me as many hours of "daily work" as I want doing transcription for a law office, they are also going to start providing me with Spanish work. At a highly elevated rate. About 5x what I'd make for standard work. Kaching.

So they called to tell me I was on the docket for working today and tomorrow, just a small amount of work to get me warmed up and ready to go, and that I should expect my first Spanish assignment to arrive via US Mail in the next couple of days.

Couple that with the fact that my one largest regular client bombarded me with work last night, and Rose has a busy, busy day ahead of her today. Just taking a small break to write and be jolly.

So... I pour myself a cup of coffee, wander into the office and start working this morning when what should come my way... an email from the client with the large Spanish project (delayed) to let me know that we have the go-ahead and she'll be overnighting the materials to me for arrival either tomorrow or Monday.

Which means next week I will probably do nothing but Spanish work. Let me put it this way. One two day Spanish project of this size can pay me as much as I'd normally make in a week doing my standard work. That means I could make half a month's money just next week. YAY ME. That means the holidays around here won't be tight on the budget or deflate the wallet. AND we can still keep saving.

I know I write a lot about this, but I've got to be honest. We aren't used to having a savings. Living in Phoenix and paying our debts while each of us were working full time left us basically living paycheck to paycheck. Things weren't "tight" per se, but they weren't as loose as they could be. And as lily white as our intentions were to save some money each month, it just never quite worked out. It just wasn't quite... right.

So, to be able to take everything I make right now and put it into savings PLUS be able to live comfortably here on what S. makes (low cost of living in Oklahoma compared to, for example, Phoenix) it's a HUGE DEAL to me. And being able to keep up on my house, work out regularly having grand plans to work out regularly, dinner on the table every night, dog walked, cat played with, laundry done, et. al., PLUS be able to work part time and bring down a nice salary, well... that's just the bees' knees, man.

When I talk about this crap, I'm not trying to brag. I'm just so amazingly overwhelmed that we can save money every month AND I get to be blessed enough to work from home... nothing's wrong with a little sunshine and roses here every now and again, right?

So, S. is here today, he took Thursday off (daypass after the ORI exercise was done) and he's surfing the 'net next to me and doing his own thing. Except I must brag on him, yea verily, because he made me a wonderful, delicious breakfast and interrupted my flurry of work to make sure I got to eat. We are going to try to go OUT to dinner tonight maybe, to a place that's always packed to the gills on the nights we'd like to normally go there (weekends). And then I have Disc 5 of Season 1 of Nip/Tuck in the DVD Player ready to go, and then I can send them back to Netflix.

Have I mentioned that I fucking love Netflix?

So anyway, S. is here hanging out and getting a much-deserved day off, and it's nice to be able to have him here at home with me even though I've got a full day's work. There's something comforting about having the noises of another human being in the house, especially when they're the love of my life. It gets a little lonely around here during the days when I'm not completely distracted with work. I'm glad he's here.

And then, because I am the Queen Of Scattered Thoughts And Stream Of Consciousness Writing, I will take a moment to say we're going to maybe go out Christmas shopping tonight so I can think about getting gifts for my family actually boxed, wrapped, and sent out. At the very least I want to go looking for some of those nifty decorations I keep talking about putting up. After all, I have our stockings already. Can't decorate with just stockings.

Would that be like showing up in bed for a little sumthin-sumthin with only your socks on?

Holy crap, my mind's in the gutter. Maybe I'll cap off a fine and wonderous and ultimately positive peaches and cream day by getting a little sumthin sumthin later.

You know. In bed.


With only my socks on.

Did I actually type, "bees' knees?"

Rose typed all this stuff at 11:32 AM | #


Wednesday, December 01, 2004



S. got an email this morning from a guy who was in his shop at Luke AFB. A friend, someone who I got to meet while we lived there. Nice guy, about my age I'd guess, maybe a little younger than me.

The email said that he's going off for his six months in Iraq. He's been training with the Army getting ready and he's heading out. They're going to be convoying from place to place doing different CE stuff. Mostly installing air conditioners, I think.

S. said to me this morning, quite matter-of-factly, "If we were still there, I'd be going with him." I know this is true, although it's something I didn't want to suggest to myself while we actually lived in Phoenix. When S. went off to school to cross-train (at the USAF's request/demand) it took him out of that field which would relieve him of any instant responsibility under his "old" job code.

So. Now a friend of ours is in Iraq. Just drives it home even more. More, and more, and more. S. is in chem training today (they have a gas chamber here and everything). Some days, we feel remarkably more military than others.

In other news, it's going to be in the 40's today. Warm snap! Time to break out the bikini and suntan lotion. The pool looks mighty crisp nowadays, I'm sure it would be brisk! And refreshing! Cool! And rejuvenating!


Rose typed all this stuff at 6:55 AM | #


My job as a military wife is
to make it as easy as possible
for my beloved husband to do his job.
Where he leads, I will follow.

Name: Rose
Age: 36
Religion: Pagan
Husband: SSgt, USAF
Current Location: Tinker AFB, OK
Job: Self-Employed Transcriptionist
and Domestic Goddess

I am currently pimping:
Kasora Teas.

me @ consumating

I play Everquest II!
Thornwyn Tamarisk
Iksar Necromancer, Kithicor

We're trying for a baby!

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