Welcome to my wonderful, terrible, soap opera sit-com world.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
I am, disappointedly, but AMAZINGLY painfully (as in doubled-over-and-can-hardly-walk) aware of the fact that I am, totally and blatantly, not pregnant.
Therefore, I plan to get up and walk to the kitchen and make myself an entire POT of very strong, full-caffeine coffee, drink a cup with a Midol chaser, and put a bottle of wine in the fridge for this evening.
Ahhhhh, the joys of self-medication.
I worked all weekend and find myself temporarily in the mist of a "down day." I appear to have little, if any, work to be done today which is actually a good thing. I could use the time to play with my Dyson, clean up a little more around here, do some laundry, take a long bath to help my pain, etc.
So, the real reason why I'm here (besides to give you an update on the baby factory) is to tell you that my mother phoned me this morning, and I ended up feeling kinda like a bad kid. Not because she necessarily made me feel like one, but because my birthday is coming up.
And I suck at birthdays.
Let me clarify -- I suck at my OWN birthday. I LOVE everyone else's birthday. I love decorating the house up for S. on his birthday and wrapping presents and buying gifts for 30 days in advance of the Big Day, and shopping for an Ice Cream Cake and putting together the Favorite Birthday Meal, and all of that. I love it.
But when it comes to MY birthday and someone saying, "Hey, what do you want to do" or "do you want this" or "do you want that," I totally suck.
So my mom asked me the Dreaded Question today: "So, have you thought about any presents you might like for your birthday?"
I am so not a gimme-gimme person. Not that there is anything WRONG with having an idea of what gifts you'd like.
(I have, for the record, told S. some things I "would like" for my birthday, but they are small things, and I can't tell my mother the same things, or she'll get them and then I will hae 2-3 of everything).
So anyway, with my birthday being so close to Giftapalooza (xmas), I have a really rough time with my family giving them ideas of things I "would like" for my birthday. And my mother has an aversion to giving Gift Cards, although they are truly The Perfect Gift.
I couldn't tell her what I really wanted for my birthday was a positive pregnancy test.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
You know, the wine glasses that I got for cheap because they were on clearance?
Because apparently, they aren't making them any more?
And for that reason, that are no longer available?
S. keeps telling me the most important thing is I didn't slice my hand open on it while it was in the process of breaking against the kitchen counter.
I, hoewever, would feel slightly better if it had at least tasted my blood on its way to the garbage can.
I feel like a raging idiot, and a failure, and I am totally horked-off pissed.
That is all.
He made me a pot of half-caf today.
Probably less caf than half. But it still tastes great going down.
At the risk of jinxing things for myself, my body can't seem to make up its mind what it is doing. So I'm not "really" having PMS, I'm not "really" having pregnancy symptoms, and I'm not "really" getting a visit from my beloved Aunt Flo.
No, my life is a current mishmosh of all of those things.
So, to spare everyone the gory details, I don't know if I'm preggo, I might be preggo, signs point both directions, I can't seem to get off the stick and get it figured out, and PEEING on a stick is not yet an available option to me.
So in the meantime I will try to chill out in the evenings without my beloved glass of wine, our wine rack should be here any effing day which just means I get to LOOK at all our wine but not drink any, and half-caf or de-caf are going to be my new best friends.
PS: I'm going to write an Anamnesis today if it effing kills me.
Friday, January 27, 2006
If I weren't working all weekend, maybe I could be more enthused about that.
I go without any "real" blogging for a few days and I realize how much I use it as a release, whether I'm just talking about nothing, or talking about the things that are really important to me.
So I was missing blogging.
I have also been missing coffee this week, and missing my glasses of wine in the evening, because we are in that weird time period where there MAY be a bun cooking in the oven and until I know for sure, I want to over-obssessively "do everything right." I'm trying to tell myself not to get too excited. But like many of my friends have told me, if we don't get it this time we'll get it another time, and besides, the "trying" means guaranteed sex. Hah! Bonus!
I have also, due to not having my IM's up lately and when I do have them up, not seeing a couple of my friends I'm very used to seeing during the day, been missing some of my friends. :( But I just have to remind myself that everyone has their own priorities and their own lives, and being there to chit-chat with me idly as the day goes by and as I am inevitably working in the other window anyway, isn't something anybody has to do. Heh.
So if you're out there and you haven't chatted with me lately, know I miss you.
And if you DO chat me today or this weekend and I tell you "if I'm quiet it's cuz I'm working," that's true.
I have a client who is a legal document translator, and because I suspect he does his translation work "on the side" also, AND becuase he is located somewhere halfway around the world, I don't usually receive his work to type until the evening or weekend. Just my luck there's an 80 page document we have to have done by Wednesday. Urgh.
So much for sleeping all weekend, which seems to be all I want to do this week. Sleep.
I don't know. My emotions have been a really strange, weird roller coaster this week. I'm sure it's just because I'm so nervous about what might be going on inside my uterus. Don't worry, I'm already working with Shanna to try to get an image or two together so I can put all my pre-pregnancy, pregnancy and mommy ramblings on another blog for folks that aren't "into" that kind of information. :)
I want coffee SO BAD.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
And yes, I have made the connection.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Okay. So I'm slacking on the whole blog thing.
Yesterday I had so much fatigue -- I mean, just mind-numbing, couldn't-function, had-to-go-back-to-bed fatigue... oy.
Plus I am very proud of my S. for more stuff that's going on at work but I can't talk about that yet either.
All this stuff I can't really talk about.
Bear with me. I'm sorry. I'll be less boring hopefully tomorrow. :D
Monday, January 23, 2006
I worked this weekend AND relaxed this weekend, AND I am totally not working right now and am not freaking out. Just not letting myself freak out about it. Not gonna freak. not freaking.
Friday was eventful here in the Rose and S. household, because S. spent part of his Friday giving a brief (making a presentation) to the Assistant Secretary of The Air Force, which is both a big deal AND a cool deal, but was something I could not tell you about in advance. You understand.
Then on Friday night we went out to dinner and spent a little time together, which was fabbo. And I know there are some of you who read little tidbits that I post about stuff like this and secretly say to yourself "please God don't let her turn into a fertility/infertility blog" and "please God don't let her turn into a pregnancy blog" and "please God don't let her turn into a mommy blog" but I just have to say, according to the BBT chart we uh, "planted the seed" on ovulation day so now we're looking forward to that. I was a little premature last time I mentioned it. To clarify: Ovulation day was Friday, and we had sex on Friday, no, I am not pregnant. At least not yet. Ask me on February 7th.)
On Saturday, we spent a bunch of money. Went to Tuesday Morning, which is always a bad proposition for us. We went in for two journals, one for white wine labels and one for red wine labels, so we can start keeping a book of what we buy and what we like.
We left with a crystal carafe, a metal model of a Ford Mustang, 2 journals for wine, 1 journal for me for cooking/recipes, and a tabletop bunny-ear wine opener with a big base so we can put it on top of our "bar" whe it finally arrives.
Then, as if things weren't bad enough, we went to the BX where we found S. a $100 Columbia parka, for $79, 25% off of that, and then an additional 50% off of THAT. So we got him a $100 jacket for $29.00. We also got me a pair of gloves, two scarves, and some Spot Shot...
... and a Dyson.
We got the Dyson DC-07 Full Gear, which we got for the bargain-basement price of $399. That includes everything that comes on the Dyson Animal, plus a three-year warranty and a bunch of carpet cleaning stuff like cleaning powder and spot remover.
And let me just say.
I <3 my Dyson.
I had just vacuumed the apartment a few days previous with our old Dirt Devil bagless. And I vacuumed about 1/2 of our apartment with the Dyson after taking it out of the box, and found that the canister was full.
So, it is an OCD clean freak's wet dream, my Dyson. I love it. I am probably not so upset about not having work... I get to use my Dyson because I don't have to worry about work.
So that's kind of cool.
Oy. So anyway, I should probably go do SOMETHING. I should find some way to be productive today since all my clients are without work for me, as I'm sure I will be freaking out by the end of the week with too much work.
XOXOXO, my darlings.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
1) immediately, and permanently, lose a bunch of weight; or
2) love myself despite the size of my britches.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
I haven't written for the collaborative writing project at Natalie's joint for three weeks.
I have hardly BLOGGED, really, in two.
I'm just super busy. I went from being totally not busy to being totally too busy. It always happens like that.
This weekend we:
1) tried to make a baby! (more news in about three weeks)
2) colored my hair (a new color, "burgundy brown" L'Oreal Excellence)
3) went out for sushi
4) celebrated S. winning the pot at the monthly poker game. (unrelated to sushi)
This weekend, I:
5) worked Saturday.
6) worked Sunday.
7) tried miserably to get a little tipsy on Saturday night.
8) got my nails done (finally)(They had "I'm Not Really A Waitress"! I am in heaven!).
9) played some Everquest II (I'm level 20 now, I am such a geek)
11) played a little bit of EQII.
12) picked up a huge rush job that I should be working on now.
I guess I must get back to work. Please don't forget me and please don't leave me.
Don't leave me!
Friday, January 13, 2006
So I think I might have done this one earlier this year or something. But after being taggled by both Joe and Alex in the same breath, I figured I would re-do it.
From Joe, it's called "Weird Habits." From Alex, it's called "Bad Habits." So I'll just call it uh, WeirdBad Habits.
1) I am a nail biter. Chronically. I will bite my nails until they bleed. For that reason, I pay little Asian women lots of money to keep me in acrylic nails, because acrylic does not taste as good as raw human flesh.
2) I do not like to do laundry. I do not like to do laundry to the point that I have been known to scrounge through the dirty laundry basket finding something that isn't smelly and isn't TOO wrinkly, to wear it. I am 35 years old, people.
3) I hate to talk on the phone. I am a clumsy idiot, over the phone. Part of it is that if I am on the telephone with you, I do not feel as if I can multitask or get anything else "done" while I am on the phone with you. I can't cook dinner, I can't listen to music, I can't work, I can't have a converstion with S., I can only talk to you. I am not a one-thing-at-a-time person, typically. And therefore, I am not very conversational unless I have been drinking, which is an entirely different experience. So, that makes me uncomfortable. I would rather chat via the internet or return an e-mail or something (and will do so even if I have been drinking). So if I never phone you, that is why. I am not a phone person.
4) Although I am 35 years old and up until this time (minus a brief stint in the year 2000) not actively trying to get pregnant, I always have pregnancy tests here. Always. Why? Because if my period seems like it is even two or three hours late in showing up from when I think it should be here, I have to pee on a stick to clarify for myself that no, I am actually not pregnant, and that my period is just slightly late or my own personal period time clock is just out of whack like most of the rest of me.
5) Bread, meat, cheese, some vegetables, crackers, pasta, fruit, cookies, and most other edible goodies are (in my twisted mind) a vehicle for mayonnaise. I would eat mayonnaise on anything. Real mayonnaise, thankyouverymuch, not that Miracle Whip Salad Dressing shit. Hellman's, please. Best Foods, in a pinch. Kraft, if neither of those are available. Mayonnaise. Not seasoned, not light, not fat-free, not eggless, just regular, full-fat mayonnaise. And that is why this chubby girl can't eat mayonnaise. Because I'll eat it with a spoon out of the jar. So I just don't eat it any more (except when we go to sushi and get it in a roll, at which time I am secretly in heaven and having more than a slight little bit of a mayonnaise foodgasm).
I will tag some other folks later, unless you think you wanna run with this. I have to surf around and see who hasn't done it yet and actually get un-bloggy-lazy to come back here and put the tags in. But I will!
UPDATE: Bang. My first tag is my friend over at Tragicomedy. Sock it to us.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Monday, January 09, 2006
And the person who reminded me wasn't my husband, although apparently he knew and planned an evening out for us.
Well, after going over my tax information for the past year, I can say that I did pretty well in my own business for the first year "on my own." No, I'm not going to tell you the magic number. But yes, I will tell you that it was good. I've consulted with a couple other independent transcriptionists and I appear to have set the curve for the year.
It ain't a bad thing.
But, as I jokingly said to one transcriptionist friend of mine, sometimes piece-meal work has felt like squeezing blood from a turnip. Sometimes it's been great. Sometimes, it's not been great.
My biggie resolution for this year is to "work smarter, not harder." I want to get some more clients on my own and less through contracting with other services. I would rather be the first guy in line, or the middle man, than the last one to get paid. Which is how it works when you're farming yourself out by the line to the company that actually "gets the work" from the big guys.
As a result, hopefully this week I'm going to do some brainstorming and networking with this same transcription friend in the hopes that my workload can get evened out a little bit.
In the meantime, I am bound and determined to follow my OTHER resolution for the year as often as I can:
Have Some Freaking Faith.
Yes, that's my resolution.
I need to just get to a point where I realize that everything happens for a reason. The extra time that I get freed up by NOT having tons of extra work to do lets me cook meals for my family, keep the house spic and span, exercise to take care of myself, and is going to come in really handy if/when we get that little one we've been hoping for.
It's all part of the Grand Plan, you see.
Instead of freaking out and trying to drive the boat, I need to just trust that everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to. That's one of my biggest issues as a control freak.
You've heard of "taking back your life?" I'm going to try to "give back my life" and "take back my faith" this year.
Sound like a good plan?
(I wrote this becuase I don't have much work to do today, so I'm trying to figure out how I am going to productively fill my day).
Friday, January 06, 2006
I know, I know, I have royally and totally sucked at teh bl0gz0r this week. I have sucked. I have been a bad, bad blogger.
But I am currently stuck in one of those weird, fateful moments somewhere between:
Yay! It's Friday!
Holy motherfuckingshit, it's Friday.
Let me get a couple things off my plate, and I'll be right back with you. Deal?
In the meantime, why don't you tell me what you are gonna do this weekend. Anything fun?
Thursday, January 05, 2006
(That's geek speak.)
I got two pairs of these for Yule/Xmas/Christmas/Random Gift Giving Secular Winter Holiday this year, and I love them.
I am practically living in them, and now I have to go get myself many, many more pair just because I work at home and can wear them all damned day if I want.
I love them.
I must have them.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Because it was one of my Last Great Flings before getting back on the wagon on weight watchers this time.
Do you guys know what chicharrones are?
You know, pork rinds. Those things that people buy in cellophane bags that are crunchy, salty, deep-fried rendered chunks of pork fat with skin. THOSE things.
Now. Have you ever had them for real, as in, the Mexican way?
First of all if you've never had a fresh-made chicharron, you've never had one at all.
But if you've never had a taco de chicharron, you're missing out.
You're probably thin and lovely, but you're missing out.
I had them (again) when we were in San Antonio. I hadn't had one in years and years. They take the chicharrones and simmer them in a spicy tomato sauce with green chiles (jalapenos in this case) and onions and spices, kind of stewing them. And then they slap them on a gordita or a tortilla and finish it off with (in my case) some more hot sauce, and it's a delicious taco.
Oh. My. God.
Sorry, just had to dream a little bit about a slurpy, drippy pork rind taco. I'm sure you understand.
What's the least-mainstream "real" food you love to eat?
I roasted a chicken last night. It was really good. We also had green beans and salad.
I have already lost some weight, and was under my points for the day last night.
Now I'm tired.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Calphalon 3-qt saucier
Calphalon 6-inch chef's knife
Calphalon nylon cooking spoon
New oven mitts/hot pads
Olive Oil with Red Pepper
Silicone/stainless steel spoonulas/spatulas
Silicone flat spatula/flipper
Cuisinart Smart Stick stainless steel hand blender w/chopper AND whisk attachments
KitchenAid Silicone oven grabber
Apple Cutter/Onion Cutter
Spoon rest (that clips on the side of the pot)
Original Cajun Injector Marinade Gift Kit w/4 marinades, injector, and Cajun Shake
Lots of wine
See what I mean?
That isn't even counting non-kitchen giftery.
S. is gonna gain some weight this year.
Update: I am going to use my Original Cajun Injector Marinade Gift Kit, my last year's xmas Calphalon roasting pan, microplane grater, hot pads, spatulas and spoonulas, possibly a funnel, Calphalon chef's knife and apple cutter, and make a pork roast tonight.
January brought us our first ice storm here in OKC and also my first ice storm of my adult life. I was a kid in Alaska, remember. But after 23 years in Phoenix, I've got to say it certainly felt like a brand-new experience. We celebrated our "second anniversary of having met each other" and our "first anniversary of official legal marriage." We threw frozen things onto the ice at our apartment complex pool. I translated Nicaraguan Dirt Farmers. I also celebrated my blogaversary (which happens to be today in 2006, also). I met my friend Non-Blogging Kay, whom I haven't seen in quite a while because I am a Bad Friend, we had some "real snow," and I made a bunch of money because I was so busy with work.
Ah, February. We found our local Asian market for the first time. I had some work glitches and some wounded pride. S. moved to overnights (6pm-6am) and 12-hour shifts, and I perfected new ways to use the words "suck" and "ass" in the same blog entry. I made Pomegranite Martinis (which are a constant source of google searches here now) and my amazing friend Kara from Phoenix totally made my day. I turned 35 (ouch). The Fae moved into our apartment. I worked a lot.
I was going to Yoga. I was also going to Curves, at that time. We had our first Internet Tarot Circle Night. I got Spring Fever and started planning my window garden, and even got my first sproutlings this month. S. got asked if I'm Mexican. We got our first Adagio Tea samples and I became hopelessly hooked. American Idol had the "wrong voting number scandal." Ross and Rachael came to visit us on their way to Tennessee. We first learned of S.'s upcoming TDY. And I hit 50,000 hits here. I worked a lot.
My mom's "tumor" on her left lung was deemed benign with no change for the 5th time in a row, which meant no more 6-month follow-ups. Yoga kicked my ass repeatedly. I had American Idol On The Brain. The idiots with the bulldog got what was coming to them. My dad started drinking again. I worked a lot.
I started Group HUGS for Military Wives. We first considered going on a cruise. Took a road trip to San Antonio and had my first taste of the Czech Stop. I got some new tarot cards. And I made pickles. Colored my hair for the first time on my own. I worked a lot.
The DHL guy screwed me over. S. left on his deployment. We booked our cruise. I joined Blingo. And tried to just hold it together while S. was gone. I was boring. I worked a lot.
I got sick, and had to recover on my own since S. was gone. The pool furniture got it on. I drank a bunch one night and then had a bad hangover. I was sad that S. was gone. I met Manic Witch and her family when they came through OKC! I traded seeds in the mail with Jonny and started planning 2006's garden. I had a panic attack, and subsequent meltdown. I worked a lot.
S. came home, from his TDY, after mission changes made his return date much sooner than it was supposed to be. We had lots of sex as a result. Apparently, in other news, we LIVED at the Farmer's Market. I won my first Blingo movie tickets! We had CMF day. And Hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf. I worked a lot.
Carnival canceled our cruise due to the FEMA charter and Katrina. But we got re-booked on another ship, same date, same cruise line, for more money. And thus began the cruise saga. We raised money for domestic violence shelters. Hurricane Rita hit the gulf. I worked a lot.
We saw Henry Rollins in concert, which rocked. Boobiethon happened. I stopped wearing my silver hoop earring in my left ear for all of 2 days. We got upgraded to a room with a private balcony for the cruise. Hurricane Wilma threatened to rain on my parade. I told my mom we're trying for a baby. Cruise Troll was making me crazy. We left on our cruise! I wasn't working!
I wrote three posts about our cruise and never finished the story. I guess I should think about doing that. I tried to get back to work but schedules were weird, and I didn't have a butler in my apartment the way I had a room steward on the ship. I got a new coffee maker. We had Thanksgiving. It started to get chilly here. I still wanted a cabin steward. Hot Lesbians. I worked as much as I could.
I bought some very sexy thermal underwear. Tried to get ready for the holidays. Called the Fed-Ex guy a dirty whore. Declared 2005 the Year of the Kitchen Christmas. Traveled to TX to be with family. Worked as much as I could. Drank a lot on New Year's Eve.
And now we're here on the first Monday in 2006. And I already have a case of the Mondays.
My job as a military wife is
to make it as easy as possible
for my beloved husband to do his job.
Where he leads, I will follow.
Husband: SSgt, USAF
Current Location: Tinker AFB, OK
Job: Self-Employed Transcriptionist
and Domestic Goddess
I am currently pimping:
me @ consumating
I play Everquest II!
Iksar Necromancer, Kithicor
We're trying for a baby!
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