Welcome to my wonderful, terrible, soap opera sit-com world.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005



I also colored my hair a deep shade of auburn.

Rose typed all this stuff at 12:56 PM | #




1) Ate Mexican food.

2) Ate at Eischen's in Okarche, OK.

3) Drank too much on Saturday night.

4) Had lots of sex. (Yay me!)

5) Spent too much money at Big Lots.

6) Spent money at the Farmer's Market (and came home with three pineapples! 3! Count 'em! 3!)

7) Rearranged my kitchen some more so it's even more functional now.

8) Bought a new monitor because my old monitor was so bad it was giving me fucking migraines, but I'd been getting the headaches for so long I just didn't even correllate that it was actually the monitor, but it was, so now it's fixed, and I won't get any more headaches.

9) Absolutely did ZERO WORK THIS WEEKEND. That is a huge accomplishment for me.

10) Soaked in the hot tub.

11) Cooked delicious chili-citrus shrimp skewers with herbs out of the garden.

12) Bought a Venus Flytrap, which my husband promptly named "Junior," and fed it aphids out of my garden.

13) Did laundry.

14) Slept in.

15) Bought some Mary Kay.

16) Craved sushi.

17) Wanted even more sex.

And now today? Back to work. But still hoping for some sex.

Rose typed all this stuff at 11:25 AM | #


Monday, May 30, 2005



Have fun, eat watermelon, drink cold beer, hang out with family and friends, but let's all remember what this day is really all about, okay?

My best to all.

Rose typed all this stuff at 10:37 AM | #


Sunday, May 29, 2005



Looking for a Mary Kay Cosmetics Consultant??

I have a FABULOUS consultant! Her name is Chris Noteware and she is an amazing consultant based in Phoenix.

However, she has a website accessible to all and will be happy to do business with anyone and everyone looking for a consultant or for fabulous Mary Kay products.

I encourage you to contact her - she has an email link on her website.

Go! Buy Mary Kay! Now!

Rose typed all this stuff at 9:35 PM | #


Friday, May 27, 2005



True story.

Monday morning I was freaking out because I had no work.

So I emailed all my clients and asked them for work.

Then, as I was carrying a basket of laundry into the laundry room, I said, "C'mon, God/dess, I can't go all week without work, help a girl out would ya?"

As I was loading the washer, there came a pounding on the door - it was the mailman, with an express mail package full of tapes.

Then my other big client loaded me up for two days this week, too.

Then another random client wrote asking if I could pitch in, and a fourth client wrote asking if I could work over the weekend.

Then a fifth client wrote me and asked if I'd be willing to take on a (good paying) 12 page project.

Today, a co-typist with one of the companies I work for wrote telling me she got an overnight package with tapes in it, but it was originally meant for me and that she'd be sending it along.

Meanwhile, I am not though the first package of tapes I got at 9:30am on Monday.


I am so determined to get as much done as I can so I don't have to work over the long weekend... counting down 4 weeks until the TDY and I am not giving up a long weekend.

So that's why I have neglected you, my wonderful friends, and I hope you will forgive me.

Mwah mwah mwah.

P.S.: I'm a panelist on the Match Game at Mikey's this week. Stop over and play.

P.P.S.: The little banana pepper that looked (thanks Andie) like a weensy penis in the pictures below? Is now about four inches long. Zoinks! My banana pepper plant has an erection!

Rose typed all this stuff at 12:37 PM | #


Tuesday, May 24, 2005



Well all, I think the fae hae finally started to make their appearance around our little home. Wheeee! I've wondered if we were going to get any faeries. They will keep me company while hubby is gone TDY, I'm sure.

Here's my faerie symptoms, tell me if you think this could be it!

1) Random things suddenly turning up after being gone for a while.

2) Other small things still gone that haven't turned up.

3) Cat has taken to randomly hissing at nothing, multiple times per week.

4) Dog wants to hide every treat we give him.

5) Dog, when we are having a conversation about leaving to go somewhere, puts himself in his crate (as a Fae-friendly friend of mine just pointed out, dogs are like toys to the faeries, they love to play with them, and when Mommy and Daddy are getting ready to go, it's time to put the toys away... so they are probably putting him to bed)

6) The ladybugs have finally shown up on my windowboxes.

So. Time for me to have a little conversation with them and ask them to please not touch anything on my desk... a little dish of honey is in order for same... soon as I finish work today I'll be having that conversation with our new little friends.

Welcome, Faeries!

Please God/dess, let me keep my temper when I am being a control freak and shit disappears because they thought it was pretty and shiny and jingly and fun. Amen. heh.

Rose typed all this stuff at 2:09 PM | #




Calling all military wives!

The Military Wives Group H.U.G.S. is nearing the deadline! You have between now and Memorial Day to sign up for this very fun Secret Pal program!

If you haven't already done so and would like to participate, please go to the Group H.U.G.S. homepage (above or on the sidebar) and click on "JOIN" for the instructions. We'd love to have you!

Group H.U.G.S. pals start contacting one another as of June 1, 2005!


Rose typed all this stuff at 8:50 AM | #




I have been tagged by some of my girls, for memerific memeness.

First of all, I was tagged by both Rue and HCPR Laurie for this one:

Total volume of music files on my computer:3.45GB, not counting the other kajillion GB of music on our third computer which ends up dedicated to files like music.

The last CD I bought was:
It's been so long I couldn't guess appropriately, although I think it was probably Norah Jones - Come Away With Me

Song playing right now:
Nothing, as am preparing to work - but was last listening to "Party Anthems" on Musicmatch Radio, and I vaguely remember "Baby Got Back."

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
"Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz
"Mustang Sally" as performed by the Commitments
"Raining in Baltimore", Counting Crows
"Galileo," Indigo Girls
"Cupid," Jack Johnson (it's kind of our song, me and S.)

Five people to whom I'm passing the baton...
Special K
Tuna Girl, when she's done celebrating her hubby's return, and
Stacy," because she was kind enough to tag me for the following meme:

1) Total number of films I own on DVD/video:

Between S. and I, we have 75 (not counting significant stash of pr0n) which also includes every Kevin Smith movie ever, the Beavis and Butthead DVD set, some VHS and mostly DVD movies from all various and sundry periods of either of our lives.

2) The last film I bought:

King Arthur.

3) The last film I watched:

Shark Tale, via Netflix.

4) Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):

The Princess Bride, Clerks, Shawshank Redemption, My Fair Lady, Memento.

5) Tag 5 people and have them put this in their journal:

Rue (returning the favor), Shanna, Kelly, Laurie (again with the returning favors), and Rhianna.

Rose typed all this stuff at 7:21 AM | #


Sunday, May 22, 2005



This is a picture of the first banana pepper that's really peeking out well on my plants.

This is a glimpse of our little patio oasis. See the little fountain behind the table?

Here's my jalapeno plants (back) and one serrano plant (front). There are about six blossoms forming on the jalapeno plants. There are NO blossoms on the serrano plant! Flower, little plant, flower!

This is one banana pepper blossom plus it's hard to see it, but one banana pepper just starting to peek out.

Here's my chamomile, which has gone freaking insane! This is pre-first-harvest, which will happen either today or tomorrow. It's a big green alien Afro, I tell you!

Here's our sage garden; tri-color sage on the left, purple sage on the right, baby common sages nearest us here, and then right in the middle is a gynormous chocolate mint plant. Chocolate mint is the BEST in coffee or tea. Or on top of chocolate stuff. And stuff.

More herb garden; cilantro on the left (which went right to flower, goddamit, so now I have more seeds ready to sprout), chives in the middle, and greek oregano on the right.

Homemade pickles! Firecracker baby carrots on the left (see the jalapenos in the jar?!), baby vidalia onions on the right, and in the back there is today's batch... pickling cucumbers and green beans.

Dominican (finger) (apple) bananas!

These are those pots I told you about, that I bought at the Mercado in San Antonio. See what I mean, they'd be hard to describe? Each one's about the size of a tennis ball.


I just want to say that this is my first time using Flickr, and it was a HUGE PAIN IN MY ASS because I am a Flickr dork. So if anyone who uses Flickr (hint: Jonny) knows what to do, here's my dilemma.

I can't seem to get it to post multiple pictures in one post. I ended up being an idiot and posting them all separately, going into blogger, copying the code one by one into one post, making a list of what picture was what, and THEN coming back in and typing my comments underneath each one. Because I am an idiot.

So someone help me! Please, lead me unto the land of the Flickr!

And I hope you enjoyed my photos, makeshift as they were!

Regarding the sausage fest and pics of my pool, if I can figure out how to take pictures of the pool without the people down there seeing me (I could almost JUMP into the pool from my balcony, but I'm not that dumb) then I'll do it. Otherwise, I have a webcam, and my office window points to the pool, and maybe I'll just set up Live! Pool Cam! Sausage Fest Cam! heheheh. You never know, right?

Rose typed all this stuff at 6:23 PM | #


Saturday, May 21, 2005



Interesting that I would choose that song lyric for last night, yes?

We got home from the Farmer's Market, and I have got to say I am FREAKING THRILLED-ASS THRILLED.

Why, you might ask?

Not only did we buy:

Farm-fresh yellow squash
Farm-fresh bulb onions
Two pounds of local honey (to taste, for the next batch of mead)
Two bunches of mustard greens
Hot chilis!
Teeny dominican bananas!
Green beans! (to pickle)


We bought!

Mexican Coca-Cola!


If you've never had Mexican Coca-Cola, you don't know what you're missing. Not only is it made from the original pre-New-Coke, pre-"Classic-Coke" formula, but it is also made with SUGAR CANE SYRUP instead of with high-fructose corn syrup. This makes for a crisper, but sweeter, beverage. Bottled in real glass bottles. Half-litre glass bottles.

So we bought four. Four bottles of this amazing elixir. Four bottles of this which I could not find without a huge struggle in Phoenix. (I understand it's much more popular now) Four bottles of Mexican goodness, the likes of which I haven't tasted since I was in Mexico last. The Taste Of Mexico.

If you'll excuse me, there's there was a Coke in the freezer, which is waiting to be has been mixed with a shot or two shots of some very fine premium spiced rum and poured over ice. Oh yeah, baby, that's what I'm talking about.

Lord help me!

Rose typed all this stuff at 4:12 PM | #


Friday, May 20, 2005



I'm all happy now, and full to the gills (pun absolutely intended) because sushi cures the world's ails. S. came home from work feeling ver-ay piss-ay after a shitty day, a doctor's appointment, the lack of a good homemade lunch, and the fact that it was 95 fucking degrees today with humidity high enough that it should never have been 95 degrees. I hear it was 110 in Phoenix today. "But it's a dry heat." Why should a girl be forced to choose?

What's that? I have no choice? Oh yeah, that reminds me. Kiss my ass.


So what DID I do today? Lots of work, which was nice to get finished up, so I have the whole weekend free. Free, I tell you! Free to go to the farmer's market (and hopefully find some wonderful green beans to make pickles with). Free to dangle my tootsies in the pool or sit in the hot tub! (That is, if I don't spend my time mercilessly massacring the idiot airmen (and their wives or girlfriends) who have taken to smoking cigarettes and holding glass beer bottles while they are floating in the middle of the public pool). Free to work in my garden! (Apparently, a small family of ladybugs has taken up residence in my chamomile, which is looking like a big green afro growing out of my windowbox) Free to... do laundry. And clean the house. Yay.

But free of work.

So, in the face of trials and tribulations, there is no better therapy than slurping down raw fish and squid salad and many delicious spicy sushi rolls. Which we did. And which we both wish we could do every night. Please, Sushi Gods, bless us with the raw fish, such that thy fish do not stank.


I don't even know what else to say right now, because it's Friday night and I'm starting to poop out. I have half a mind to go pour a glass of wine, park myself in front of the TV, eat some strawberries (yum) and then hit the sack. And now that I mention it, I think I might do exactly that.

Here's hoping you all had an absolutely fabbo Friday. I'll touch base tomorrow... I think I still owe you some pictures of stuff. Right?

So pucker up, buttercup, and give us a smooch.

Rose typed all this stuff at 9:43 PM | #


Thursday, May 19, 2005



By (multiple) request, the fabbo recipe for refrigerator pickles. This recipe would be perfect for any of the following veggies, plus anything else crunchy and delicious you wanted to pickle:

Baby carrots
Pearl onions (I made baby vidalia onion pickles, yum)
Garlic cloves
Green beans
Beets (sliced)
Beets (baby, peeled)
Sweet onions (sliced)
Hot and/or sweet peppers
You name it!

Here's how we do them, and they are absolutely fabulous. This is the recipe from the current batch that's in the fridge now. We packed four regular pint-sized pickling jars.

1 cup water
1.5 cups cider vinegar
3/4 cup sugar (suggested but not required. Sugar substitutes don't work for this. If you have to go sugar-free, just go sweetener-free.)
3/4 cup salt (kosher or pickling salt, not iodized salt)

Combine all of these things in a saucepan to make a brine. You may add any flavorings or spices you wish at this point. We add:

1 tsp red chile flakes
2 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp coriander seeds, cracked
1 tsp mustard seeds, cracked
1/2 tsp bay leaves, crushed
1/2 tsp black pepper, cracked or ground

Combine all the ingredients and let the brine start to cook. The goal is to boil it for four or five minutes so the sugar/salt can dissolve and the flavors have a chance to blend. While the brine is SLOWLY coming to a boil, pack your jars.

We cut cloves of garlic in half and hot jalapeno peppers in half and pack them into the jars with our pickles, because we like them with a kick. Yum. The red chile will already give it a little kick, but that gives it a punch... plus they make great pickles (sliced into rounds or sliced in half) in their own right. Don't forget that if a veggie has a tough skin, like a little beet or a small carrot, you probably want to peel them before putting them in the jars (if you aren't going to slice them, anyway) to help the brine penetrate.

** FOR PICKLED PEPPERS: Slice your peppers into 3/8 to 1/2 inch rounds. Remove seeds if desired. If they're small and you want to pickle them whole, like if they're cherry peppers or jalapenos or something, make sure you put a good-size slit into the side so the brine can get inside the pepper and penetrate the flesh. **

After the brine has boiled for four or five minutes, CAREFULLY spoon or pour it over the top of your TIGHTLY-PACKED jars of crunchy veggies. It's perfectly okay - and preferred - if the seeds and spices get into the jars, too.

Let the jars sit, un-capped or un-lidded, until they are room temperature. This is a very important step. Then after you can safely pick them up, screw on the lids (like I said, we use canning jars) and put them in the fridge. Prepare to leave them in there at least two days, shaking them at least once a day to distribute the spices and the brine. You might notice some veggie shrinkage; this is normal.

On the third day you should be able to start sampling and crunching. These pickles have to be kept in the refrigerator - they are not canned/processed. They are refrigerator pickles. They should keep for up to three months.

Yum-meh. I'll try to post a picture of the latest batch, in a little while.

Rose typed all this stuff at 5:12 PM | #




Well, I'm going to FORCE myself to make an update. I just have to get some of this out!!

Okay. So, here's some about our trip.

We went to La Vernia, TX, which is a little town just outside San Antonio (population: 931) to visit S.'s dad and stepmom. It's been a very long time since I was made to feel so welcomed. I got relaxation that I needed and it was fabbo. We drove all day Thursday pretty much, since we had to leave here late. Mandatory formation at work means S. had to go out to the base at NOON on Thursday, which totally fucked up our plans for a casual 9am departure. So, we tried to haul ass all the way there, but we were thrwarted by road construction and radar traps. Damn you, law enforcement and highway improvement! We rolled into La Vernia at about 10:30pm, dreaming of the peach kolaches we had eaten from the Czech Stop in the tiny town of West, Texas, sometime in the area of 3:30pm.

Mmmmmmmmmm. Kolaches. DAY-um.

We went to the Mercado in San Antonio on Friday because I wanted to see if I could find any Mexican produce, chiles, and spices to take home with me. Turns out the Mercado doesn't have the farmer's market any more, but we did make a few hours of it just looking at all the little Mexican stuffs. I got some little pots on-a-string to hang on my wall... I'll have to take a picture of them so you can see what they look like. It's hard to describe them, but trust me, they "go" in my house. Ha! Friday we ate at a local spot with the Pastor at the church FIL and MIL go to, and had a great time and some wonderful conversation. And a huge Texas down-home meal, which left me stuffed. But not too stuffed that I couldn't eat my leche quemada candy that I bought at the Mexican market. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Saturday was a true Texan cookout with the whole fam damily. FIL BBQ'ed a brisket all day and I helped make "Granny Salad," an apparent tradition. There was chocolate cake and carrot cake, home-baked bread, beans, and S.'s family ate up every jar of refrigerator pickles we took down with us. We took baby carrots, vidalia onions, banana peppers, and jalapeno and serrano peppers... devoured. I even got asked for my recipe. Twice. Yummo. (The minute we got home we made more pickles, the carrots are now done and crunchilicious, the vidalia onions and garlic are hot to trot, and I'm itching to make even more.) (refrigerator pickles are da bomb)

Sunday we got up and before FIL and MIL could go to church, we chose to hit the road (but not before Boomer got the very special treat of an accidentally-dropped soft boiled egg on cool, cool kitchen tile). There were tears and hugs, and here's the best. thing. ever. My FIL -- now, this is the man who when I was first dating S., and S. wasn't legally divorced yet but was separated (wife lived in another state) would not acknowledge the fact that we were dating... and who, up until the day we got married couldn't remember my name and called me, "the girl you're dating" -- this man, who is actually a really wonderful man, hugged me and kissed me and squeezed me and told me that not only is he thrilled, and proud, to have me as a member of his family, but that I make an amazing addition.

Amazing, y'all, he called me amazing.

We left La Vernia and stopped over to see S.'s mom and stepdad in San Antonio, had lunch at Bill Miller's, and then hit the road. Stopped again in West, TX at the Czech Stop, picked up a one-pound smoked sausage, a dozen and a half kolaches, and headed for home. Smelling the kolaches the whole way. And just wanting to get home so we could eat some of them.

So that's about the extent of our trip. Spent Monday trying to get re-aquainted with life, and I've been working ever since.

As side notes, S. bought me a Emerilware Cast Iron Grill Pan which I FREAKING LOVE, and have used it every day since we got it. Last night we had grilled zucchini and vidalia onions. Yum.

And, he tells me that my next "just because" gift, the Mayan Oracle Deck, will be here today or tomorrow. Wheeeee!


While I'm filling my life with Mayans, I should point out that we're shopping for cruises still, and it looks like the cruises that leave from Galveston, TX (esp. on Carnival) offer ports of call that have tours of Mayan ruins. Since my dream vacation for the last 20 years has been to visit that part of the world and tour the ruins at Chichen Itza, Tulum, etc., this might just be the perfect vacation for us to take when S. gets home. So now I'm trying to figure out how to make THAT work.

(I think I was a Mayan in another life, long story)

So. Overall things are looking great. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to transcribing people and their issues. Peezowt!

Rose typed all this stuff at 10:27 AM | #


Wednesday, May 18, 2005



Shamelessly whored from the lurvely Miss Sass

You are Deb and you could drink whole milk if you

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Rose typed all this stuff at 3:31 PM | #




Shamelessly whored from my good friend D.:

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 100%

Punctuation: 100%

Spelling: 100%

Vocabulary: 100%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

That's what I get for typing other people's letters all day.

Rose typed all this stuff at 3:25 PM | #




I'm here, I'm just busy catching up from taking days off work. I promise I'll get some trip details down and out for you guys very soon. Thank you for not deserting me! :-)


Rose typed all this stuff at 10:55 AM | #


Monday, May 16, 2005



Happy Monday, campers. Here's a few tidbits to hold you over until I can go into more detail:

1) The Czech Stop. Czech Stop, get it? Oh my god. Kolaches. Oh my god. Kolaches. Oh. My god. Kolaches. Stopped going both directions. Kolaches.

2) Conversation had somewhere in Texas:

Me: That's interesting.
Him: What?
Me: "Texas Baptist Service Center."
Him: Texas Baptists need service?
Me: Apparently so.
Him: Happy ending?

3) Conversation had somewhere else in Texas:

Him: Look at all the trucks. (semi-trucks kind of stacked/leaning on top of each other, with the front end of one truck on the back end of another truck)
Me: That's weird.
Him: Honey, it's truck sex.
Me: I wonder why they do that?
Him: Don't judge the trucks just because they like to take it up the ass.

4) Conversation had about an hour south of Dallas, TX:

Him: Hey, dad.
His Dad: Hey.
Him: I'm just calling to say thanks.
Dad: Well you're very welcome, you know, we just loved having you here -
Him: No, no. I'm calling to thank you for the soft-boiled-egg farts that our dog has since you gave him that egg this morning. Dog farts. I'm thanking you for the dog farts.
Dad: (laughter)
Him: But yeah, absolutely, thank you for all that other stuff too.

So I'm gonna get unpacked and go to the Commissary and get things a little more settled around here and then I'll be back to regale you with tales of the road and some pictures of wildflowers. Have a fabbo Monday! Mwah!

Rose typed all this stuff at 9:25 AM | #


Thursday, May 12, 2005



Well, looks like everything's in order for the "big" little trip. Even the pupster's crate is ready to go, complete with his favorite Baby, a big bag of treats, and his woobie (read: gynormous dog pillow).

All our clothes are packed including swimsuits, as FIL has a huge hot tub in his back yard and I'm gonna be all up in that thang.

We even had time for lunch.

The plants are brought in off the balcony railing as it's going to thunderstorm like a MF'er while we're gone, so hopefully they'll survive and I'll have (1) lots of chamomile blossoms to harvest for tea; (2) banana pepper plants that have surviving blossoms that will grow into banana peppers; and (3) NO FUCKING APHIDS, since the aphids are back again. I hate aphids. Have I mentioned that I hate aphids? Ten minutes picking soapy aphids off of flowers in your window boxes will piss anyone off.

It was actually kind of nice to get up this morning and not have to do any "actual work." But I filled my day with housework, getting one last load of laundry done before we packed up to go, plus cleaned my kitchen and bathroom and living room so when we come home it's going to be easy sailing for me. No worries.

I know I've been eating right and losing weight and everything (had a pretty good streak here the last week or so, by the way) but I truly want to stop at the place on I-35 that has kolaches. Yum.

And we're also going to stop over in Austin on our way back home on Sunday and have coffee on a patio somewhere dog-friendly with our dear friend Nancy, who I haven't seen since before we left Phoenix. She moved to Austin in January and this is the perfect opportunity for us to get together with her!

Things are going well. Very well. I'm quite happy.

Did I mention we're shopping for cruises?

Hey, that's a great topic to discuss amongst yourselves until I have my first chance to hijack some wireless internet at a truck stop:

Have you ever taken a cruise? Where did you go, what line did you take, and would you recommend it?

I took a cruise in 1996 to Mexico and loved every second of it (Royal Caribbean) - now the ships are so much more than they were when I went, even the ships that are nearly 10 years old are still 100% better than the one I had back then. So we're thinking when S. gets back from his TDY we'll turn around and go on a cruise. Rock on, cruise. Yay!

Cruises. Discuss.

Rose typed all this stuff at 12:30 PM | #


Wednesday, May 11, 2005




Okay. So we're going to San Antonio, TX for the weekend (leaving tomorrow afternoon) to go visit S.'s dad, since we're going to miss the S.'s Family Reunion in June as we'll be prepping for his TDY.

So I'm taking a few much-needed days off and we're going to be making the drive, including dog, from OKC to SA.

We'll be taking the new laptop. I remember on our way out to OKC when we were on the road, we kept stopping at Flying J's and Love's Truck Stops, and they all had signs broadcasting that they had wireless internet. I figure I might hijack a connection if we're filling up or getting a beverage or snack and let you guys know how it's going.

To be honest, it's all about me and the new toy, which I have hardly touched since we got it. It has taken up permanent residence on S.'s desk as he fills it with all the stuff he wants to take with him on his TDY (he's so cute, he tells me all about the games he's putting on it but does not speak of the pr0n... he better not take the pr0n with him this time and leave me with nothing or my head a-splode).

So, this will be my chance to document our boring journey from one spot to another. Maybe we'll find a Starbuck's in the little town his dad lives in just outside of SA where I can go have a nonfat mocha and surf and blog. Who knows?


Okay. So that's it, then.

Dear God: Please let Haloscan not be screwed up so I can see if someone makes a comment. Amen.


Rose typed all this stuff at 12:54 PM | #




Yesterday was "Dumbass Swimming Pool Patron Day."

I think today might be a replay of same.

Let's see.

First of all, I'm not complaining about the - as my husband would put it - "sausage festival" that comes from living in a complex where lots of young Airmen rent apartments together. Because when they all want to get tanned and lay out by the pool, and your apartment (and office window) overlook the sun deck, you get quite a show.

(What is it with Oklahomans all wanting to "tan?" There's tanning booths on every corner, it seems, plus a kajillion people just want to lay out and bake themselves in the sun. I'm from Arizona, yo. Laying out in Arizona in the summertime is a sure-fire way to get skin cancer. So I'll pass on the cancer festival. But why does everyone want to be tanned?)

Now. Interrupting the sausage festival was a skinny - and I do mean tall, and gangly, and totally wiry looking - Airman or Navy Boy who wasn't muscular, or anything. Just tall, TALL and thin. Beanpole. And this guy was wearing some bastardization of a swimsuit, which was a low-rise (read: dude had to shave his pubes to have this sucker on) (surprised I didn't see more asscrack) (5 inches between his bellybutton and the top of the waistband) that looked like Tanga Panties or "boyshorts," complete with the white laces in the front of the thing. HELLO, FREAKISHLY FEMININE MILITARY BOY, WHY DON'T YOU GO COVER UP?

I emailed S. to tell him about the view and he said, "I've seen that dude. You should make him a sammich and throw it off the balcony to him. He could stand to eat."

Then stupid Tanga Panty Boy screwed up my view some more by sitting on the steps of the pool with his lit cigarette, and a cell phone up against one ear, smoking his cig and flicking the ashes onto the pool deck. Hello? Earth to Idiot Tanga Panty Boy? Don't smoke IN THE SWIMMING POOL.

I thought things were getting better when Amazingly Cute And Very In Love Couple, who we've actually met in person and think are pretty nice, spent almost an hour in the pool just cooing over one another and flirting and snuggling and smooching and cuddling. It was very sweet.

Until the dumbass with the yorkie terrier brought the dog into the pool enclosure (this dog is small enough that if he wanted to, he could wedge himself through the fence and get away)... this dog is a cute dog, and all, but it's very aggressive towards other dogs (like most terriers probably are) and thinks he's a Great Dane. So he went running around the pool like lightning, barking and snapping at the people who were IN the pool. That is, until the dog's owner sat down at the shallow steps in the entrance to the pool, and the yorkie jumped in. To a public pool. With other people in it.

Did the owner shoo the dog out of the pool? Nope! She set him on the next step down so he could get completely soaked from head to toe and then I guess one of the guys in the pool was her S.O. or friend or something, so they took the yorkie out into the middle of the pool and let it swim around.

In a public pool.

In an apartment complex.

Where we have all kinds of regulations on pets.

Now don't get me wrong. When I lived in Arizona and I had my own pool in my own backyard, I took Boomer swimming from time to time. But THAT WAS MY POOL. If MY pool had doggie cooties from MY dog, it was no big deal to me.

This is a PUBLIC POOL! There are signs all over the place asking us to make sure we're showered and clean and don't have any remnants of shit or spooge on us before we get in the pool, to preserve the sanctity of the water and to protect our fellow residents. And you're taking your DOG swimming in the pool?

Ew. Barf.

And then of course when the sun started to go down there was the army of rowdy teenage boys who wanted to scream like girly boys and splash each other and generally cause a ruckus.

Dear God:

Can you please fill the pool area up with hunky Airmen and Navy Boys and leave the screaming teenager girly boys, Tanga Panty Boy, and yorkie terriers at home?


P.S. Haloscan is doing some weird fucked up thing where it's not showing that there are comments. There are actually comments on this post if you'd like to read or write.

Dear God: Can you please fix Haloscan? Amen.

Rose typed all this stuff at 8:24 AM | #


Tuesday, May 10, 2005



And if not diamonds... then... new clothes, right?

Hubby took me shopping yesterday for some new clothes. Nothing fancy, mind you, just something that will help me adjust to what is going to be a sauna-like summer. Got a few pair of new shorts and some cute tops, and my shorts were two sizes smaller than the last pair of pants I bought. So I'm kind of excited about that.

Nothing says lovin' like a shopping spree. Squee!

Meanwhile, I'm trying to work my ass off (in more ways than one) so I can get everything out of the way for the weekend. We're going to San Antonio for the weekend to visit with S.'s dad, because he'd like to spend some time with us before S. goes TDY later this summer. We're going to miss the Family Reunion. So since San Antonio is about a kajillion degrees warmer than it was here, some new shorts and capris were in order.

Thank you everyone for your interest and support with Group H.U.G.S. I'm really excited that so many people have expressed interest one way or another. Spread the word around to online military wives; the more the merrier, certainly. Thank you for all of your kind comments, also.

Here's another random thought, yesterday we made refrigerator pickles. YUM! We made Firecracker Carrots (I lurves me some hot carrots) and pickled onions and pickled hot peppers, and pickled banana peppers. I can't wait to crack one of the jars open. YUM!

Well, I guess I should get back to work. The dog just got done burying his dog biscuit - right in the middle of his bed - in plain view - but it took him about five minutes of "pushing dirt with his nose" to do it. So cute. Now he's laying with his back to it as if to say, "Don't look over there. There is no cookie there."

It's going to be 90 degrees here today, they say. Better for me to get done with work sooner than later so I can go to yoga.


Rose typed all this stuff at 10:17 AM | #




Lovingly whored from Donna

10 years ago:
I was 25.
I was shacking up with my ex-hubby, but we weren't engaged yet.
I had a job I pretty much hated.
My apartment got broken into and all my shit got stolen.

5 years ago:
I was 30.
I was off the pill, trying to get pregnant to appease my husband and mother-in-law, thinking it might save my marriage.
I had a job I loved, even though I didn't realize I'd come to hate it.
I had just gotten my dog, Boomer.

3 years ago:
I was 32.
I was divorced and for some reason was dating a guy who was pretty much a prick.
I was living in my house without a roommate for the first time since the divorce.
I couldn't imagine that in 6 months I'd meet a man who would change my life.

1 year ago:
I was 34.
I was a stressed-out wreck, between my dad's illness and our impending move.
I had a bulimic relapse.
I was recovering from the cancer-death of one pet, only to find another one had cancer.

We live in an apartment I love.
I have a successful home-based business doing transcription work.
I'm fitting into the role of "Military Wife" rather well.
I still let my mom hurt my feelings sometimes.
My husband makes me the happiest woman on the planet.

Rose typed all this stuff at 6:15 AM | #


Friday, May 06, 2005



I'm going to be making the rounds to spread the word about this, but if you could do me a favor and help me out I'd greatly appreciate it.

In my connections with the military spouses out there in the blogosphere I've come to make some fast friends and learn a lot of things. And I got this idea from watching the knitting bloggers do their thing, and wanted to reach out and see if the spouses could do it too.

I present:

Group H.U.G.S.

With the help of Shanna who helped me get the page up and running based on my idea, I've started a SECRET PAL group for military wives.

The idea is this: Every month you'll be matched with another wife. There is no minimum and a $15.00 maximum per month. Whether you send E-cards, a greeting card or a postcard, or want to put together a small gift (or multiple small gifts or cards) you take the time each month to reach out to another military wife who has signed up for the group.

It can cost you nothing, or it can cost you a little bit. But it's a way for all of us to network together and to help and understand one another.

Please visit the web page and check it out. There is also a webring to join and I have set up some free forums where we can all chat about it.

Please spread the word to other military wives, too. I think this can be a lot of fun for all of us.

The deadline to sign up for Group H.U.G.S. secret pals for June-December 2005 (this is a seven-month commitment) is May 29.


Rose typed all this stuff at 3:04 PM | #




Happy Military Spouse Day to all the wonderful military spouses I've had the chance to meet doing this blog thing, AND to all the others I have not met.

Take some time today and visit a military spouse blog and let them know this day is just for them, would you?

Happy Military Spouse's Day!!!

Rose typed all this stuff at 8:07 AM | #




I am working on something for Military Wife Bloggers that should be pretty fun.

That's all I can say about it right this second.

More news later. Otherwise I have to get my happy ass back to work. Yes, I've already been working. For like two hours. Bleah.

Happy Friday!

Rose typed all this stuff at 8:03 AM | #


Thursday, May 05, 2005



Ha, this is funny.

Okay, so remember a few days ago when I posted about having an American Idol dream?

Apparently it's the #3 returned result on Google for "bo bice heaven," which is people looking for Bo singing (and doing a great job of singing) the song from the other night.

In the Google listing, the first sentence that comes up is, "Bo Bice asked me about the earring..."

So I think folks are coming here figuring that I have met him, or that he is actually interested in my earring, or that there is some kind of clandestined relationship, or something.

Sorry to disappoint you everyone (and when I say everyone, I do mean a freaking ton of people) who have come here from that Google search. Just a married girl dreaming a dream about some guy she saw on TV.

Still cracks my shit up, though.


Rose typed all this stuff at 8:30 AM | #



STICKY: A Shout-Out For A Friend

A dear friend of mine is swapping banner ads on his website for donations to his cause. For €5 (roughly $6.50)you get unlimited impressions until 6/31 plus then 5,000 impressions starting on 7/1. Visit www.noconfidence.org to check it out.

Scroll down for most recent entries.

Rose typed all this stuff at 8:00 AM | #


Tuesday, May 03, 2005



My husband is making a huge pot of chili in accordance with the International Chili Association rules for "competition chili."

The whole house smells like "competition chili."

I think he wants to try to enter a cookoff some time soon. If it means I get to eat what he cooks, I'm all over it.

Rose typed all this stuff at 1:34 PM | #




The lovely Airforcewife was kind enough to tag me on another meme, and while I think my answers are going to be sorely lacking I'm happy to participate. So let's see.

You’re stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to save?
Oh jeez. Um, I wish I had something amazing and inspirational to say, but instead I will say the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
It's been so long since I did much reading, esp. fictional reading. I used to have lots of lust for the archetypical stud-man in romance novels, though, to be honest.

The last book you bought is:
"The Green Witch," and I can't remember the author, because I have misplaced the book and am trying to find it for another reading assignment.

The last book you read is:
"A Proud Taste for Scarlet and Miniver" E.L. Konigsburg (pre-reading daughter #1's school books)

What are you currently reading?
Cookbooks, chronically... and "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay.

Five books you would take to a desert island:
"Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" (and its counterparts) by Douglas Adams
"Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner" by Scott Cunningham
"The Herb Bible" (an herbal medicine/naturopathy book)
"Ford Mustang: 40 years" (a wonderful coffeetable book that I still haven't made it all the way through yet)
... and some cookbook that had something to do with coconuts, palm fronds, easily-caught fish, and how to do fabulous things with sand.

How's that? I wish I were reading more books to have made this a more interesting read.

NOW as for getting tagged... who do I want to see do this?

My girl Shanna, I'll throw a shout out to Tuna Girl (if she hasn't done it already) and how about my bud Andie?

Morning, y'all.

Rose typed all this stuff at 7:51 AM | #


Monday, May 02, 2005



So. The fucking AARP just sent me a mailer telling me that since I am "fully eligible for the benefits of membership" (what the hell, I'm only 35) that I should hurry up and write them a big check so I can start reaping the benefits. Oh, I'll be sending them something in their postage-paid envelope. It's just not going to be a big fat check.

And so now...

Because I am in a weird mood and am too lazy to actually squeeze any more of my guts out onto the glowing box in front of me, attached please find the latest meme that I have seen many places but chose to filch from Book at Life On The Rocks.

1)My uncle: is the guest of honor at the only retirement party I've ever been to.

2)Never in my life: have I actually owned a front-wheel-drive car.

3)When I was five: my dad caught a 365 pound Halibut.

4)High School was: so interesting that I hardly remember it any more.

5)I will never forget: the day my mom backed into Dave's car in the driveway.

6)I once met: the governor.

7)There’s this girl I know who: knits her own clothing, which freaks my shit out.

8)Once, at a bar: I wore blue panties under a short skirt just because the guy I was hot for at the time had told me he had a thing for blue panties.

9)By noon I’m usually: done with the "First shift" and ready to shower and get ready for the afternoon.

10)Last night: I really wanted a glass of wine, but was nursing a hangover and talked myself out of it.

11)If I only had: made better decisions about who to trust.

12)Next time I go to church: it will be because someone died or is getting christened or something, because I have no reason otherwise to go.

13)Terry Schiavo: died many, many years ago.

14)What worries me most: is that some day the speed at which my life changes will overtake me, and I won't be able to handle it.

15)When I turn my head left, I see: hot airmen in the hot tub, a crystal-clear pool, and the clouds parting over the complex.

16)When I turn my head right, I see: Cartman dancing in "Casa Bonita" as the May picture on my South Park Calendar.

17)You know I’m lying when: I suddenly can't keep my composure. I am the worst. liar. evar.

18) What I miss most about the eighties: the music.

19)If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: Juliet's maid who did all that background work trying to make things work out for her.

20)By this time next year: I hope I'm pregnant.

21)A better name for me would be: Wendy Worrier.

22)I have a hard time understanding: this country's current drive towards hard-core right-wing conservitism.

23)If I ever go back to school I’ll: lean towards practicing law.

24)You know I like you if: I don't give you too much shit.

25)If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my husband.

26)Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: What the fuck?

27)Take my advice, never: shit where you eat.

28)My ideal breakfast is: runny eggs and buttery toast.

29)A song I love, but do not have is: "She's Gone," by Chilliwack.

30)If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you go in the summertime.

31)Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: Seasonal.

32)Why won’t people: shut the fuck up?

33)If you spend the night at my house: at least the guest room is at the other end of the apartment so you won't hear me snore.

34)I’d stop my wedding for: a good friend who needed to come late.

35)The world could do without: egocentric psycho freaks.

36)I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: suck on one of your boogers.

37)My favorite blonde is: Legolas.

38) Paper clips are more useful than: poker chips.

39) If I do anything well, it’s: cook.

40) And by the way: I'm horny.

Rose typed all this stuff at 5:23 PM | #


My job as a military wife is
to make it as easy as possible
for my beloved husband to do his job.
Where he leads, I will follow.

Name: Rose
Age: 36
Religion: Pagan
Husband: SSgt, USAF
Current Location: Tinker AFB, OK
Job: Self-Employed Transcriptionist
and Domestic Goddess

I am currently pimping:
Kasora Teas.

me @ consumating

I play Everquest II!
Thornwyn Tamarisk
Iksar Necromancer, Kithicor

We're trying for a baby!

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